0:01 The ad starts out with a little boy and father that are animated beside each other and are in the middle of the screen. This directs the eyes of the viewers to that part of the screen as this is the most eye-popping section on the screen. The little boy and the father are looking away from us and looking towards the northwest. The direction that they are looking is animated trees and mountains that are different shades of green. In the middle of the screen between the gaps of two mountains, there is a tall building which lets us know that there is a city that foreshadows that this may play a role later in the ad. The little boy is wearing an orange-colored sweater and the dad is wearing a red sweater and is holding a gray backpack. This backpack looks like it’s for camping because there is something that is hanging on the back of the backpack that looks like a sleeping bag. The colors of the sleeping bag and the backpack are similar so it makes it hard for us to see what really is hanging from the backpack. There are no facial features that are on the little boy and the father making it hard for us as the viewers to know what the tone they are trying to express and their feelings. The execution of the writer using animated characters that are painted with animated backgrounds makes it difficult to visualize. The viewers have a hard time relating to fictional characters as they do with real characters that are in real settings. The colors that are on the screen are not flashy but are fall colors but are mainly the color green which has the meaning of life.
The father’s hand is moving upwards which causes the viewers to follow his hand further up on the screen to see what he is trying to show his son. The camera later in that second starts to zoom out really quickly meaning that there is something important that is not showing in less than a second into the ad. The zoom-out shows us that they are walking on a trail and are surrounded by nature as the colors are fall colors. The fact the colors are fall colors indicates that there was a change in season from summer to fall. In the image, it looks like the son is holding his father’s hand which could be because he is scared of his surroundings. The contrast between the pants that the father is wearing and the boys had makes it difficult to know if the boy is holding his father’s hand or holding his hand. The small details count and the execution of the filmmaker in the first second are a bit misleading.
0:04 At this point there was an abrupt change of scenery in a backyard with trees and mountains in the background. The father is wearing a t-shirt in this picture and is resting on a brown chair with his hands on the back of his head and is facing us so we are able to see his face but has no facial features making it more difficult to know the age of this character and the mood of the character is portraying. The mother is sitting across from the father in a brown chair reading a book and we are able to only see a portion of her face as she is looking at an angle of the placement of the book which is on the left side of her body. There is a fire pit in between them and also a full bucket of water in front of it is that the water is going to be important. The characters are not looking toward the screen which loses some of the viewer’s attention because the viewers are more likely to pay more attention if the person is looking at them. The fact that the animation is still for a few seconds and has no movement of the characters or the fire makes the viewers’ minds become distracted to something that may be more interesting like picking up the remote and switching that channel.
0:08 There is another change of scenery with a new character who is inside his home. The character is standing next to the doorway of his house with his door wide open. The character is a male wearing a blue jacket, brown sweatpants, and a bright green backpack that is full. This character is on the right side of the screen and is looking directly down at his phone and there is an arrow that is pointing toward his phone. This arrow is on the left side of the screen and points at the character’s action of reading something on his phone. The arrow is small and is not executed as well as the words that will appear later this second.
Later on in that second, words emerge on the screen beneath the arrow that is in bold and in all capital letters directing our eyes towards the message that states, “CHECK GUIDELINES AND RESTRICTIONS.” The character that was looking at his phone was looking at the outdoor restrictions before leaving to go on a hike. The fact that we are not able to see what’s on the character’s phone is a bit confusing as they should be zooming in on it to show more attention to what the bold words state. The execution is poor in this part of the ad as they lose the attention of the viewers and leave a lot of questions to the viewers.
0:11 The scenery at this point has a male and a female enjoying the outdoors and doing their own activities. There is no indication of if the male and the female characters are related. The female on the right corner of the screen is carrying an orange backpack and is using binoculars to view something from afar in our direction that is not visible on the screen. The binoculars are a hint that she is sightseeing something which the viewers have to imagine as the ad does not provide that information. The male is further back biking on a pathway toward the west portion of the screen. The area that these two characters are located in looks like a park that is in their community.
0:12 In just a second the camera shifts the female to the middle of the screen and the man in the background becomes more visible to the viewers. The man is still keeping the accepted distance but as the camera zooms in we are able to see more of the man’s bike. Three bold words appear in the middle of the screen directly in front of the female. The three words state, “PRACTICE SOCIAL DISTANCING”. The ad could have executed this animation better by showing the distance between them with measuring tape showing 6 feet that could have been under the bold words.
Directly below the message appears to be an arrow that is pointed in the direction of the female. This makes the viewers gain the understanding that the female and the male are doing the activities that they have a passion for and still maintaining social distance. The fact that the ad mentions social distancing but doesn’t even provide the information that these two characters are following makes it a bit misleading to the viewers.
0:15 The next part of the ad has a female that is walking her dog outside on a pathway to a park that is in the area. The background appears to have a lot of buildings compact together which makes the viewer think that she is located in the city. The city is being shown in this animation as people at this time that are living in the city are afraid of leaving as it is really populated. It appears to be a nice and sunny day as the pink flowers are blooming and you can see a bright reflection of the lake behind the female. The female is wearing shorts and a tank top letting us know that it is around spring or summer in this animation. All the characters are doing the activities that they are passionate about by keep distance and not wearing a mask.
0:16 In just a snap a new event is occurring and this includes a man holding a stick who is looking at a fire pit continuing a pile of logs and twigs on top of the grass. There is an extended hose that is laying on the grass that is close to the fire pit. This fire hose is a sign that the water from the hose or the hose may be used later in the ad. There is also an arrow that points directly at the fire pit which directs our eyes toward the fire pit that has a message above it stating, “KEEP YOU PILE SMALL.” The word small was emphasized in an eye-popping font to let the viewers know that it is very important for the pile of sticks in a fire pit to be small. It appears that the guy is in a backyard which appears to be near the woods. There is no evidence if this character is in his backyard or someone else’s because there is no evidence that is provided to us. The camera appears to be zooming straight toward the light-up fire pit because the pit that the guy had made is considered hazardous.
0:19 The same character seems to have made a smaller fire pit and seems to be in a different setting. It appears that he is near a lake and has set up a chair not too close to the fire but at a safe distance where he can still be able to feel the warmth. The character now feels safer as he is closer to the fire making us think that he is feeling more comfortable in this situation.
0:23 The man appears to be taking out the fire by submerging it with water. A new arrow appears on the screen pointing at the bucket of light blue water that is being poured but is not moving on the screen. The message that appears below the screen is the word “DROWN.” As the character is pouring the water there are white clouds that are forming away from the fire which is steam. This is showing us that fire should be drowned with water. The style of animations that the ad councils use throughout the animations is naturalism as they are all outside and in a natural setting.
0:26 The man appears to be kneeling down on one knee on the grass and feeling the temperature of the wood that was used in the fire pit. An arrow pointing at the man makes us think what he is doing is important. A bold word that appears under the arrow states “FEEL.”
0:28 There is a message on the screen that advises the viewers saying, “KEEP OUR SAFE PLACES SAFE”. This ad was created to advise the viewers that everyone is safe outdoors and it’s important to keep our outdoor-safe by making sure to take out fires before leaving the setting. Also, people should keep a distance for the safety of the people around them and themselves. The fact that the whole ad was not realistic and was painted annoyed me because this could be misleading to others as it was for me when viewing it. The messages that had appeared on the screen were helpful and straight to the point but needed to have stronger convincing messages. The words that were on the screen were not powerful enough to reach the attention of mine and maybe other viewers. The ad was not effective because it needs to be more realistic so people will feel like they are experiencing what is happening in the ad. The most persuasive claim that was made throughout the ad was KEEP OUR SAFE PLACES SAFE as it made a really good relationship to keeping outdoors clean and safe so that we can avoid having fires in our forests and having a safe outdoor setting.
0:01
I know from having watched it in class that this first second of video is animated, not live action, but your analysis makes no mention of that. Since EVERY style of animation creates some sort of visual atmosphere or ambiance, you should be telling us whether the art style contributes to a feeling of menace or well-being. Are the colors bright and cheerful? Is everything “in its place” in this artificial world? Etc. What mood do the creators evoke?
The zooming and the child’s apparent concern do indicate that something might threaten the peace that the first second has so quickly established. Is that part of a rhetorical strategy?
0:04
I’m puzzled by your repeated appeals to what “appears to be.” Your readers don’t get much of a hint how you might determine what seems to be, NJ. Do we know this is a family unit for the sole reason that viewers of video draw the “simplest possible explanation” for what we’re shown?
Was Mom on the other side of the trees Dad was pointing toward. In other words, was he showing his son in the first second that he had spotted where Mom was reading? Is there a time sequence here, obvious or suggested? Have we seen any faces yet? I don’t remember any from the first second.
0:08
Are we looking at the guy’s face? Or over his shoulder? Will we be looking for clues about what he’s seeing on his phone? Or will be we looking at his phone to see what’s on his phone?
Do the words appear on THE GUY’S SCREEN? or (since we’re watching video on a screen) just on OUR screen? Is THE GUY being directed to pay attention to the message, or are we?
Does he react? Could he be related to the family?
0:11
Is there any indication that we’re trying to depict a wide range of demographics in these animated characters? Could they all be related, or are they deliberately from different families and backgrounds? Is this a COUPLE? Are they acting separately? Do they know each other? Did they come out to nature independently? Does it matter? One is bird-watching, I imagine. Reasonable? The other is biking.
0:12
There’s no phone in this scene, it seems, so you must mean the words appear in the middle of the video screen. So these are titles superimposed on the animated background. You say the man appears closer. Is that connected to the guideline to MAINTAIN DISTANCE? Are these two deliberately staying safely apart?
0:15
“The background appears to have a lot of buildings compact together which makes the viewer think that she is located in the city.” This is one of the few times you describe the VISUAL element as EVIDENCE of the conclusion we will draw. You should do more of this. Any idea why we’re shown this woman in town?
0:16
Obviously, this set of guidelines is not limited to COVID restrictions. What ties them together? Aren’t you wondering as a viewer why social distancing and small kindling piles are linked? Your language is a little unclear. Do we NOT see the pile early in the scene? Then does the “camera” ZOOM in to SHOW that the firewood makes TOO BIG A PILE?
0:19
Are we seeing any faces? You haven’t mentioned a facial expression yet. Did the guy with the BIG PILE look worried that his fire might spread to the woods? Does the guy with the small pile look satisfied that he’s being safe?
0:23
OK. It mystifies me that you haven’t mentioned these are drawings yet. Is the style realistic? Naturalistic? I want to see that water pouring from the bucket, the clear stream, blue and white. I want to see the smoke billow from the doused fire so we know it’s been quenched.
0:26
Nice. I can’t help but notice ALL YOUR PERIODS fall incorrectly OUTSIDE the quotation marks.
0:28
That’s fine.
Does it annoy you (or do you think it would annoy anyone else) that the creators of the ad spliced COVID protocols onto a message to thoroughly extinguish camp fires? How effective did you find the ad to be? How could it be improved? What was its most persuasive claim?
Hi, Professor I have looked at the suggestions and have made the changes that need to be done. Would I be able to get a regrade?
0:01
Still:
I’d call this “manicured” nature, NJ. The lone hawk, a single bug wafting down from the trees on the right, a forest floor that looks freshly-swept. This is nature at its most pristine. Why?
0:04 Still:
Personally, I see no indication that Mom and Dad are camping. Those big chairs they’re sitting on, the stone wall, the fire cauldron? The hardback book? They’re in the back yard. And there’s no reason to believe they’re related to the boy in the woods. Dad was wearing a hoodie. Now he’s in a shirt.
Do you think it’s meaningful that the characters are facing away from the “camera” or have washed-out, featureless faces? Is this an attempt to deprive them of obvious ethnicity?
0:08 Still:
You don’t mention that he’s standing in the doorway, likely in preparation to depart the home AND that he’s dressed for a hike complete with a substantial backpack. Is he checking his phone for OUTDOOR RESTRICTIONS at the location he’s headed for?
0:11
Is there any indication that we’re trying to depict a wide range of demographics in these animated characters? Could they all be related, or are they deliberately from different families and backgrounds? Is this a COUPLE? Are they acting separately? Do they know each other? Did they come out to nature independently? Does it matter? One is bird-watching, I imagine. Reasonable? The other is biking.
0:12
There’s no phone in this scene, it seems, so you must mean the words appear in the middle of the video screen. So these are titles superimposed on the animated background. You say the man appears closer. Is that connected to the guideline to MAINTAIN DISTANCE? Are these two deliberately staying safely apart?
0:15
The cyclist, birdwatcher, dogwalker can be described as a group of people enjoying a city park. The streetlight, the paved walks and bike path, the nearby cityscape, all say, “just outside of town.” Did you think to mention that they’re not masked?
0:16
I don’t understand:
0:19
I don’t see any concern on the face of the guy in his backyard burning brush. Facial expressions are NOT a big factor in this animation style. By the way, he’s not using a pit. There’s just a pile of logs and twigs in the grass. He does have a hose extended to douse anything that gets out of control. Plus he’s THERE attending to the burning.
0:23 Still:
Would you call the animation naturalistic? Stylized? Old-fashioned? Contemporary? You don’t mention that he has rimmed the pit with rocks to control spread. You don’t mention that he’s leaning on a big shovel to guard against spread. He could shovel dirt on a spreading blaze, use the shovel to roll hot logs . . . .
0:26
Nice. I can’t help but notice ALL YOUR PERIODS fall correctly INSIDE! the quotation marks.
0:28
I can’t critique your point of view. Your opinions are exactly as valid as my own. I’m glad you expanded your explanation. (Do you really think there’s a connection between small wood piles and small human gatherings? 🙂 )
Maybe another pass through before I regrade?
Hi, Professor I have made another pass added more details, and looked at the flaws that I had from the suggestions that you made. Can I please get a regrade?
You’ve earned a regrade, NJ. I truly appreciate your commitment to the revision process.
Your writing style is still clumsy and a little scattered in places, but that’s not easy to fix without years of practice. You’ve saved your analysis of the effectiveness of the overall video until the very end. It’s good to see it, but if you want a more effective technique, you’ve critique the piece at every scene. Do the transitions make any sense to you? Do you accept that putting out fires and keeping social distance qualify as a CATEGORY that deserves its own ad for “Keeping Safe Places Safe”? You mentioned at a couple of places that the characters’ faces could be seen but without facial expressions. That’s hard for a reader to understand, and we get no sense of whether you think that was a good strategy or not.
So . . . there’s always more to do, right? That is the overriding lesson of the feedback/revision process. You’re doing great.
Hi professor I agree that as writers we learn throughout the process and there is always room for improvement. I have made changes to this argument. Can I please get a regrade?
Nice work overall, NJ.
What does this mean? 🙂
Regraded.