Visual Rewrite – sillyinternetperson

Wildfire Prevention


A 3D animated bear head floating in the woods with a yellow ranger hat that says “SMOKEY” across the front introduces itself as Smokey Bear. He is animated in the style that Apple animates its emojis, with black beady eyes and a characteristically low level of detail.


As the scene changes to the view of two kids running past a table with an umbrella through the middle, four white chairs (one out of frame but assumedly there due to the arrangement of the rest) around it, and food and drinks on the top. One kid, the one on the left, is a young white girl with blond curly hair, jeans, and a navy blue, burgundy and white striped shirt with hi-tops on. The other is a slightly younger African-American boy in a red white and blue flannel, jeans and flat gumshoes. There is a man with blond hair with a side part grilling as the kids run between him, off to the right and a little towards the back of the foreground, and the table that is off to the left in the foreground, enough so that it is out of focus from the rest of the shot. To the left of the small, round grill he’s grilling on, there is a little wooden table. He is wearing a striped blue sweater, the stripes being texture not color. The stripes are not stripes but rather ridges of the material slightly protruding form the sweater. Along with his weird sweater, he dons jeans a ring on his left ring finger and sneakers and holds tongs that he is manipulating whatever is on the grill. There is a balcony attached to a house on the hill that is slanted up towards the left side of the frame, behind a patch of mulch housing a few kinds of yard plants. It appears to be early autumn as most of the plant life is still green but a few trees are turning red and orange, especially the tree in the background on the right. A white PVC fence runs along the back of our view of the yard, its top portion a cross hatch pattern, weaved of PVC with wood texture. The man scrunches his face in that dad way before he starts to speak.


The shot closes on the man who now speaks. His eyebrows still scrunched towards each other in a stern dad look, similar to someone looking at something the sun is behind, causing them to squint. The man is not looking at the sun, but maintains eye contact with the grill, moving his tongs around.


There is a cut to a tight shot of the man’s phone, an iPhone with a dark turquoise case. It is laying flat with its screen up and charger towards the camera. Behind it, a barbecue lighter on the left that is partially laying on a towel, and a mitt on the right. The screen lights up, 3D Apple-eque Smokey Bear appears on his screen in front of a brownish-orange radial gradient. Towards the bottom of the screen, a line that displays the waveform of the man’s voice.


The camera cuts to the man continuing his joke. He maintains his eye contact with the grill and laughs.


The man picks the phone up. The waveform moves to the assistants robotic voice.


The man brings the phone closer to his face, still with those scrunched eye brows, still looking down towards the phone now. Behind him, a woman with a darker skin tone, is throwing a ball around with the kids, far out of focus. She is in a yellow sweater and jeans with long black curly hair.


The phone’s waveform moves again. Behind the phone, you can see that he is grilling ground beef patties. Under the patties, a flame producing smoke.


It cuts to the previous shot of him holding the phone up near his face and the rest of the family playing in the background. The man raises his eyebrow and finally likes somewhere, that isn’t down, forward. You can now see he has blue eyes. The man looks sternly onward past the camera. He tilts his head down.


The assistant laughs a robotic laugh as the scene returns to the original shot with the table on the left and the man grilling on the right, the family now playing in the background below a couple of trees. The man smiles and turns back, still holding the phone and says something.


The rest of the ad is a brown screen with text and images in white. In the middle, Smokey the Bear’s face drawn in his original style out of white outlines. Below him text that says “ONLY YOU CAN PREVENT WILDFIRES” and below that “SMOKEYBEAR.COM”.

About sillyinternetperson

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1 Response to Visual Rewrite – sillyinternetperson

  1. davidbdale says:

    It might be hard to fix what you’ve done here, Silly. The assignment was to thoroughly describe the visuals WITHOUT LISTENING TO THE AUDIO.

    Your draft can’t survive without radical changes to reflect that misunderstanding. You are more than welcome to incorporate into your overall post the ways listening to the audio AFTER YOUR FIRST ANALYSIS contributed to the overall understanding of the central message and the ad’s effectiveness. Or how and why it failed to do so.

    Consider a two-part analysis. First MUTED. Then, if you want grade improvement, a good choice is to add a Post-Audio Analysis to describe how much your appreciation for the ad changed (or didn’t) after listening to the audio track.

    Your grade is not final, but since you didn’t ask for Feedback Please, you’ll have to be VERY SPECIFIC in your request if you want further advice on this post.

    Provisionally graded.
    Always eligible for Revisions and a Regrade.

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