Original Paragraph:

There is a huge problem in Vancouver with heroin addicts committing crimes to support their habits. The “free heroin for addicts” program is doing everything they can to stop the addicts. The problem is that there is a large crime rate due to the addicts. It is obvious that addicts have a hard time getting through their day to day lives. Daily activities such as jobs, interactions, and relationships are hard to maintain because of the fact that they are using. By heroin users being addicted, they will do whatever they have to do to get their hands on the drug. The types of crimes committed are those of breaking and entering as well as stealing. There are no limits to where they will go to retrieve this drug so that they can feed their addiction. The problem with this program is that it won’t help to ween these addicts off using heroin. It is only trying to save the city from rising crime rates that they’re up to. By providing the drug, these addicts will be off the streets, which in turn will prevent them from committing minor street crimes. This will also keep the heroin users out of the hospital. It is pointless that the hospitals have to deal with people that want to use bad drugs or unsanitary needles and find themselves being unable to afford hospital bills and hard to cope without the drug. This program gives people free heroin in the cleanest way possible. This will in turn fix the city but not the addiction that these people face.

Revised Paragraph:

In Vancouver, most of the crimes being committed are by heroin addicts. These addicts are doing anything they can to get their fix, including breaking and entering and stealing. In response, the city has implemented a “free heroin for addicts” program designed to stop addicts from committing minor street crimes by making the drugs available to them, and it helps keep users out of the hospitals. However, this new program will not be effective in getting the addicts clean, it will only reduce the harm addicts will cause to the community. While the city may see a lower crime rate, more people than before will become addicted to heroin.