Crimes By Addicts
There is a huge problem in Vancouver with heroin addicts committing crimes to support their habits. The “free heroin for addicts” program is doing everything they can to stop the addicts. The problem is that there is a large crime rate due to the addicts. It is obvious that addicts have a hard time getting through their day to day lives. Daily activities such as jobs, interactions, and relationships are hard to maintain because of the fact that they are used. By heroin users being addicted, they will do whatever they have to do to get their hands on the drug. The types of crimes committed are those of breaking and entering as well as stealing. There are no limits to where they will go to retrieve this drug so that they can feed their addiction. The problem with this program is that it won’t help to wean these addicts off using heroin. It is only trying to save the city from rising crime rates that they’re up to. By providing the drug, these addicts will be off the streets, which in turn will prevent them from committing minor street crimes. This will also keep the heroin users out of the hospital. It is pointless that the hospitals have to deal with people that want to use bad drugs or unsanitary needles and find themselves being unable to afford hospital bills and find it hard to cope without the drug. This program gives people free heroin in the cleanest way possible. This will in turn fix the city but not the addiction that these people face.
Drug addicts are one of the reasons for the increased crime in the area of Vancouver. The “Free Heroin for Addicts” program attempts to stop Vancouver heroin addicts from committing crimes to support their habits. Daily activities such as jobs, interactions, and relationships are hard to maintain for these drug addicts because their addiction is their main priority. Therefore there are no limits to where they will go or what they will do to retrieve this drug. The program’s initiatives do not succeed in diminishing heroin addiction. By giving out the drugs the program is attempting to prevent the addicts from committing crimes. This will fix the city’s crime rate but not the addiction problem that these people face.
I know this is a smaller assignment but just wanted to make sure I did it correctly. I didn’t exactly list the steps I did I just put the original and then the revised. Also, let me know if there is anything else further you would have done. This will help me practice not using too many words and finding a balance in my tone between academic and fun.
Thanks for the opportunity to respond, Princess!
Your paragraph is vastly superior to the original, of course. You’ve fixed the obvious problems, avoided creating new ones, and replaced weak verbs with active ones.
There’s always room for improvement:
—addicts commit crimes, not crime RATES
—And it sounds as if crimes are being committed by providing the drug.
But that goes beyond the actual instructions. Try this:
Does that help?
Yes, I understand this sentence’s subject among other sentences is misplaced. Should I fix this work or will that not be necessary?
You’re always welcome to improve your work, and I encourage it, princess.
I made the revisions you suggested.