19 Class TUE NOV 08
Riddle
Wake Up: How to Fix a Slogan
The National Science Teachers Association
“Working to Help Improve
Science Teaching Efforts since 2008”
- We want to improve teaching, not effort.
- We want to do the improving, not help.
- We want to show results, not work at it.
The National Science Teachers Association
“Better Science Teaching since 2008”
Even that doesn’t brag about the ultimate result, which would be more science LEARNING, wouldn’t it? No matter how well the Association improves teaching, if students don’t learn more science, it fails.
The National Science Teachers Association
“Our Students Learn More, and We Can Prove it.”
or
The National Science Teachers Association
“Demonstrably Better Learning since 2008”
In-Class Task
In the Reply field, as part of your daily class notes, write a strong slogan for the NSTA emphasizing that they teach young scientists.
Housekeeping
- Indents, Block Quotes, and Links
- Titles and References
Writing Skills
- Natural Language: Reducing Academese
- Zero Percent Body Fat: Evolution and Bad Boyfriends
- Robust Subjects and Verbs. Rich and Poor Hospitals. Vancouver Exercise.
- DUE Portfolio Task Causal Argument
- DUE TUE NOV 08 (11:59pm MON NOV 07)
alwaystired247
AnonymousStudent
azntaco
beforeverge
BigBabyBaller
bitagaming
breakingbad1820
Caravan
cinderella1013
davidbdale
Yankeelover18
fatboy489zt
giantsfan224
glacierfreeze21
gobirds17
green0728
gymrat230
Gir
jerseymikes1106
jesusisking1738
jetsfan806
Kenneth Alex Krug
manipulator66
mercythyhealer14
McCormick Karner
mochaatrain
oni
powerranger
peanut2348
pinkcottoncandy4
princess01430
redbird1123
rubes1256
shxrkbait
sillyinternetperson
soulpond47240
spatel8267
stingingcrib5
tacotyphoon
thepersonindisguise
usmnt23
worldofjuice999
xephos1
Counterintuitive Fall 2022 
3/30/22 44Elk In-Class Notes
I walked into class 15 minutes late this time. I’m really unsatisfied with how late I’ve been coming into class lately. I’ll try better next time.
I walked in while the class was trying to rewrite a slogan for the National Science Teachers Organization. The first rewrite that came to my mind was “Be smarter. Be better; like us here at NSTO.” It’s not very good, but it’s bold and comedic.
Next, we looked at hyperfluffed writing about KPOP. It felt like the author had a grammar ego; that they were attempting to stretch their cotton ball 3000 words into a 15,000-word essay to say he/she wrote a 15,000-word essay. Reading the fluff feels like eating a bunch of junk food to reach a 5000-calorie-goal for the day. Lots of empty calories (meaningless writing) can be condensed into a smaller; denser salad that satisfies the same hunger. I will try my best to cripple my word count in the name of having a better; denser essay. Next, we simplified an entire paragraph written about COVID-19 and America.
After I recorded my condensed version of the COVID-19 paragraph, we learned about another exercise we will have to do with this. We looked at another similar paragraph of fluff.
Finally, we looked at some causal sentences in different types.
You missed the condom demo.
I like the salad illustration as long as the salad provides all the essential nutritional ingredients for a full day.
3/3
-The riddle was two graves that had a catholic woman and her protestant husband
-The National Science Teachers Association had a slogan that said “Working to Help Improve
Science Teaching Efforts since 2008”
-A slogan for The National Science Teachers Association would be “The Best Learning Since 2010
-Professors may make you feel it’s essential to your success that you sound like a language-making machine.
-Some examples would be it is difficult to imagine a society that is not influenced by music.
– Common phrases can kill good prose. Below is an opening paragraph that displays some toxic elements that a good revision will eliminate.
-The Covid 19 pandemic caused the inevitable consequence of instability. There was a lot of people that had lost their jobs due to this. The health care systems were overrun by the social unrest which was caused by the virus.
-As we examined the samples, we noticed how often they are improved by substituting robust subject-verb pairs for weak phrases using the verb “to be.”
-We have a Causal Argument assignment due on Monday April 4th.
This alone earns you 3:
3/3
Saying academic things in natural language is a strong way of writing.
Instead of just trying too hard to sound academic.
Not leaving a reader to wonder what something means is important to help stay interested.
Eliminate the use of “needless” words in writing.
“There is” “ there are” or “it is” are some of the worst ways to start a sentence.
Revise your sentences so that your strongest subject completes the most robust action.
Strongest subject and most robust verb.
Causation statements are made all time without even realizing.
Mantra:
3/3
K pop artists borrow choreography from black hip hop artists
Keep weak verbs out of work
Make clear robust claims
Giving people free heroin surprisingly worked to decrease crime
Demonstrate that it does something, reader will believe it exists
If you REALLY get this, Grizzly, you deserve 4 out of 3 here. Let me know.
3/3
The slogan for the National Science Teachers Association makes no sense and in my opinion, is not loud to those that hear it or read it. The way that I would change their slogan is the leading science teachers since 2008.
When writing your sentence you should layout the subject, verb, and object so that you can then get your point across without confusing the reader or yourself when writing.
The revision of the paragraph was difficult as the wording paragraph had wording that had confused me as the reader at the point that they are trying to get across. As a writer, your goal is to attract the readers and not confuse them through the words that you are putting in front of them.
Your revision of the Vancouver paragraph violates the rule you clearly understand but don’t yet practice, NJ:
See my notes on your Robust Verbs post for details.
3/3
Notes:
-The NSTA has one of the worst slogans ever.
-“Enhancing the science classroom 2008.”
-say academic things in natural language
-aim to be understood, not confusing your readers
-trying to make your writing seem over intelligent will result in people not wanting to read what you write.
-the paragraph revision made me realize that trying to be too academic and sounding too smart, you lose your audience and they will simply stop reading what it is that you have to say.
-There is a difference between being direct and to the point, but still using a variety of language to convey their thoughts, as opposed to simply saying “is” and “are”.
-robust assignment, take home assignment
I like “enhancing the science classroom.”
I also like:
3/3
They are national science teachers
“Improving Science, One teacher at a time”
Your writing an academic paper, and you may want to sound academic but you shouldn’t
There’s no value at confusing your readers when they are trying to read your paper.
Sentences that don’t come out and say what they mean should just say what they mean
“There is” is a weak way to start a sentence
Brilliant!:
4/3
03/30/2022
We started off class by talking about the NSTA’s slogan and how their slogan does not have a clear definition of if they are working, improving, or helping science teaching which tells the reader three different things. They do not have the clarity to define their strengths in the association but instead complicate the slogan.
We did an in-class task to improve the NSTA slogan “Making Drastic improvements to learn since 20008.”
For the causal essay, a good strategy to use is making a sentence out of a subject, verb, and object if there is one. A subject can be music therapy, the verb is enhances and the object is entrepreneurship if there is one. After we identify these three things we are able to add more complex additions to the sentence.
It’s better to say academic things in sentences rather than make sentences academic which can make the sentence complicated for the reader. Making sentences simpler and to the point makes sentences more beneficial.
Yeah. Academic ideas in natural-language sentences wins every time.
3/3
Riddle
They are the graves of a catholic woman and a protestant man who were not allowed to be buried together.
Wake Up
Improved Science Teaching since 2008.
Writing Skills
Reducing Academese
Trying to sound academic is harmful to one’s natural style of writing.
Sentences that don’t get to the point should be replaced by sentences that do.
Societal disruption emerged as a result of the covid-19 pandemic. Jobs were lost and panic ensued as the country was unprepared to combat the virus.
Robust sentences
Do not include cheap fillers as they decrease the strength of your writing.
Sentence 3, 4, 3, 3, 3, 4. They provide the clearest explanation of what is being said.
This:
3/3
3-30
Who’s buried here riddle:
Maybe they couldn’t be together but wanted to be and therefore they put the wall between them to symbolize the separation but they held hands over the top to be together regardless of societal expectations
Fix the slogan:
‘Working to help improve science teaching efforts since 2008’
-I have to be honest, I’ve taken a lot of science courses and I don’t think their efforts have done anything
This just makes me frustrated
That’s all I’ll say on that
Write my own slogan:
‘Encouraging scientific learning since 2008’
I’m just confused what the org does/ what they’ve accomplished
Writing skills
Figure out how to say academic things in natural language
Societal disruption has demonstrably shown its chaotic effects and thereby illuminated the inherent instability of the society in question, part of which is the inevitable consequence of technological instability. The American reaction to the COVID-19 pandemic produced a significant disruption to our economic norms, particularly but not exclusively in the relative employability of large parts of the population. As a chaotic response ensued from the outset of the pandemic, it became evident to anyone who wished to see that American health and bureaucratic institutions were armed to combat not this new pandemic but perhaps one of an earlier generation, for which such a chaotic response would have produced less instability. With any disruption to broad systemic norms of societal behavior, it is reasonable to expect some negative blowback and destabilization. However, when America—unlike many other nations that did not experience deep negative performance losses—was put to the test, a large underperformance in employment ensued.
The introduction of COVID-19 to our society has brought to the surface how Ill-prepared our government is to take care of its citizens in the midst of national crises. The pandemic not only put a large mental strain on America, but also an economic one. Due to the governments lack of education, they closed down most of America. The shutdown of our country resulted in an economic collapse as well as the unemployment rate to skyrocket. The unemployment rate negatively effected many people across the nation, and the governments response to their intentional impact on unemployment only caused the economy to collapse more. Had our government been more prepared and better educated, the issue of personal and national money loss could’ve been avoided.
Sorry I accidentally reposted the other days notes too since I had them on the same document on my iPad – I also am having issues editing it for some reason sorry!
Fixed it for ya. 🙂
Your slogan is much better than the original:
‘Encouraging scientific learning since 2008’
And your paragraph is a vast improvement over the original as well.
I could and would spend some time directing your attention to the grammar and syntax infelicities of your edited version, but only if you wish.
4/3
Notes:
Side note; my computer died mid way through class, my apologizes for not posting these sooner.
Slogan; creating new and innovative science teachers since 2008. (?)
Grammar: Sometimes “academic” words are not useful in writings. It is better to find normal words similar to that of, which would fit better. Avoid big “academic” words all together. Going over these long paragraphs and reviewing how to shorten but keep the key information.
– At first looking at the image, I didn’t notice that it is being held together by two hands holding each other. It represents that they are together even when they are separate.
– The slogan “Working to Help Improve Science Teaching Efforts since 2008” is a very poor slogan because it is too passive. Slogans need to be more direct and make a solid claim on what they are doing. Something like “Improving scientific learning for those yearning.” The rhyme was a little unnecessary but short and simple is better than the original. I like rhyming slogans.
– (Original) Societal disruption has demonstrably shown its chaotic effects and thereby illuminated the inherent instability of the society in question, part of which is the inevitable consequence of technological instability. The American reaction to the COVID-19 pandemic produced a significant disruption to our economic norms, particularly but not exclusively in the relative employability of large parts of the population. As a chaotic response ensued from the outset of the pandemic, it became evident to anyone who wished to see that American health and bureaucratic institutions were armed to combat not this new pandemic but perhaps one of an earlier generation, for which such a chaotic response would have produced less instability. With any disruption to broad systemic norms of societal behavior, it is reasonable to expect some negative blowback and destabilization. However, when America—unlike many other nations that did not experience deep negative performance losses—was put to the test, a large underperformance in employment ensued.
– (new) A pandemic such as COVID-19 has shown how much damage it can do to our society. Jobs, schools, and businesses were all strongly affected with many people losing their jobs and their businesses, while kids lost their education. The American response to the pandemic would have worked earlier, but in todays society, it caused more problems than good. Compared to other countries, America suffered in unemployment at the highest rates.
Improving young scientists since 2008
The default heading level for your post titles is heading 2
Indenting is not necessary, as the spaces in between paragraphs provide enough evidence of a new point.
Make sure to copy the link of your references and paste them to the title of the article for convenience for the readers
The title of articles in references go in quotations, the publisher goes in italics
Trying to sound strictly academic takes the flavor out of your tone, and ends up harming more than helping.
It is more effective to use the villain in the beginning of the sentence with active verbs than using the victim with passive verbs.
The only time where “there is” can be a good opening is if the subject in question is not proven to exist
11/8 Class Notes
The riddle shows us the power of love compared to separation
Slogan uses language that gives off the impression that the NSTA is trying but not doing so.
Slogan…. NSTA: Providing adequate education since 2008
Housekeeping: go back and check on feedback (list in notebook)
Indents, blockquotes, links (duck): post url behind the title, title goes into quotation marks, publication is italicized, use blockquote feature in wordpress, three lines or more=blockquotes
Titles and references (juice): there is no title, the references are not cited
Academese: use language that makes sense for you and your article.
Get rid of vague words, such as “it” or “that”
Robust verbs—take home
11/8 Class Notes
– “Teaching young scientists since 2008” new slogan for NSTA. The original slogan was very confusing as it was not clear what they were trying to improve.
– Block quotes should be used in our writing when the quotation is three sentences or longer. This helps the readers distinguish what is your own work and what is not.
– We should only add a link to some of our citations. Instead, we must add the article’s title into quotes and link the webpage to the title. The name of the publisher is the only thing that should be italicized.
– To provide a good argument, do not use vague language and do not waste words on things that do not add any value and instead are just filler words. The use of active verbs is good in order to improve our arguments.
– Try to avoid the words “it”, “that”, “there is”, “there are”, and “that means”. These fillers do not add value to the argument and can often make the argument more confusing and not clear.
How to fix a slogan.
NSTA: Creating the next generation of scientific leaders since 2008.
House Keeping
Change titles to headings instead of paragraphs. Embed URLs behind the title of your reference if needed.
Natural Language
When writing we shouldn’t want to confuse our readers with academic jargon. We should keep our phrasing simple yet powerful!
Filler sentences and words rip the chance away from real words with real power.
Short and concise arguments will make a more profound argument.
– Strong Slogan- undisputedly better science teaching since 2008.
-For references, title goes into quotation, and publication goes into italics.
– Imbed the URL behind the title for references.
– Not to my advantage to strain myself to sound academic.
– Relax into a tone that is informative but not “stuck up.”
– Most of the time, simpler is better. Don’t “Academese” non academic thoughts.
– Present the material as forcefully and direct as possible. Leave out any junk material.
– Easier to put in a sentence to “fatten up” the easy in comparison to trying to remove parts of the essay to “lower the fat” of it.
– Don’t use “you,” we aren’t supposed to lecture to the reader.
– Revise your sentences so that your strongest subject completes the most robust action.
-We went over “How to Fix a Slogan”
-One example we went over was The National Science Teachers Association’s “ Better Science Teaching since 2008”
-Professor went over how to properly preference embroidery URL, period, and commas inside quotation marks and block quotes
-Make sure to cite References!
-Reducing JArgon and “Academese”
-The tone is always appropriate to the level of formality you acquire
-Too many sentences begin with There is, there are, it is
-Professor claims “is” is the weakest verb
– We were given a task to revise a paragraph
Continue to ask for feedback to make your writing as best as it could be. There is no limit for feedback
Make the title of your paper so that it could look like a heading; turn the title into heading 2
References are regularly sized text over the reference section right in the middle
Instead of making the title of each reference in italics, make it so that they are in quotations
Long quotes will have their own block while being turned into the “quote” feature that the website gives you
When ending a quotation, the periods and commas go inside of the quotation to move on from it
Don’t try to sound too “academic and stuck up” and write in a more relaxed and comfortable way.
Don’t write “you” in your writings because it sounds as if you are lecturing the reader, you aren’t their parent
“Revise your sentence so that your strongest subject completes the most robust action”
Slogan: Science Teaching at its finest since 2008
-Don’t indent on word press, its wasted time
-embed the URL behind the title on the reference page
-The tone when writing in this class doesn’t have to be super serious and academic, we can take a casual approach. If we were to try and sound academic we would end up possibly boring or confusing the reader.
-When making robust sentences with a villain and a victim, use the villain at the beginning of the sentence and use active verbs to enhance the attack set upon the victim.
-“it,” “that,” and “there is” can almost always be eliminated. Since that’s the case. GET RID OF THEM.
-Don’t use “you” writing an argument because writing to the reader in the second person makes them feel like the writer is lecturing them and any statements directed towards them are more personal.
-Weakest sentence state that something “is”.
* There’s two graves, one of a catholic woman and the other of a protestant man. They weren’t allowed to be buried in the same lot, so they arranged for their graves to be facing each other and holding hands.
* In your essay, to make it more in your own words, you should paraphrase and avoid block quoting.
* The Informal academic technique is the most appropriate way for an academic paper. Be informative but not stuck up
* Don’t overdo it with the academic language. Ideally, we want the audience to know what we’re saying and not stop reading because they’re confused about what we’re saying.
* The idea is to make the sentence structure more robust and to the point. The language shouldn’t be vague. (Zero perfect body fat)
* Language to avoid: “it”, “that”, “there is”, “there are”, and “that means”
* When you take the “fat” out of your writing, it may seem a little claustrophobic, but ideally that’s what you want. You want to make the structure of your sentences more direct
Notes:
– NSTA Slogan- Creating smart minds
– It’s unnecessary to try to indent paragraphs. Attach the link to the title of the source in references. As a reminder, titles are in quotes and the publication is italicized. For long quotes, you can use the block quote button to make it automatically fitted. Commas always go inside quotes.
– It’s more harmful to force an academic way of writing than to be a little informal and direct with readers. Sentences can be rewritten to focus on what’s most important.
– We have a take home assignment due before next class. We will revise a paragraph go make it more compact and clear.
College Composition 2
11/08/22
Class Notes
The two graves are interesting, I honestly believed it was one grave that a wall was built over so they just made the tombstone present on both sides, but I was surprised to find out it was two grave sites, a husband and a wife of different religions.
Societal disruption has demonstrably shown its chaotic effects and thereby illuminated the inherent instability of the society in question, part of which is the inevitable consequence of technological instability. The American reaction to the COVID-19 pandemic produced a significant disruption to our economic norms, particularly but not exclusively in the relative employability of large parts of the population. As a chaotic response ensued from the outset of the pandemic, it became evident to anyone who wished to see that American health and bureaucratic institutions were armed to combat not this new pandemic but perhaps one of an earlier generation, for which such a chaotic response would have produced less instability. With any disruption to broad systemic norms of societal behavior, it is reasonable to expect some negative blowback and destabilization. However, when America—unlike many other nations that did not experience deep negative performance losses—was put to the test, a large underperformance in employment ensued. De-academize it.
My Rewrite: The Covid-19 pandemic disrupted society and caused a lot of people to lose their jobs. It is very evident that we did not have technologies to keep up with the rates of Covid so this caused fear and instability throughout the country. From this fear and instability America became the world leader in unemployment rates.
Throughout your writing never use you.
Throughout your writing make sure you do not use words for no reason or do not make your sentences so long for no reason especially wit =h words that do not provide context to your prompt or argument.
Try to eliminate needless if/thens.
Make your writing natural; do not try and force things that are not worth forcing.
In slogans, we want to clarify our points and remain sure of ourselves. For example, the slogan “Working to help improve science teaching efforts since 2008” is a perfect example of what we should not do. It goes to great lengths to say anything but that science teaching is improving. It’s as if they wanted to add as many words as possible. A better slogan would be something like “Improving the way science is taught since 2008.”
There is not much point in trying to sound professional in our essays. It will just make them more difficult to understand and we may accidentally say something we don’t mean. Plus, when huge and complicated words are used in articles, people are less likely to read them. Chances are, the writing is so academic that it is hard to even tell what we’re going on about. The most easy and efficient way to word our paragraphs is using natural language.
We should get rid of filler words in our essays such as “its,” “ours,” and that “that means,” because they substitute for real words that would work better, as well as take up meaningless space.
11/8
Keep trying and rewriting, every failure is part of the process of getting closer to the goal.
NSTA- “Working to help Improve science teaching efforts since 2008”- doesn’t send a strong message out, only “helping to improve efforts”, 2008 wasn’t very long ago.
Improving Science Education
Technical Tips –
Center titles and make them “headline 2” style.
Don’t indent on WordPress
Use the “Quote” style for block quotes.
Citation- Journal should be in italics, the title should be in quotations, and the link should be in the article title.
Writing Skills
Use natural language rather than academese. Be brief and grammatical, don’t try to sound academic. Cut to the chase. Focus on real subjects and robust verbs.
Zero Percent Fat-
Remove repeat words such as “it,” or “that,” or “there is,” or “there are,”
Robust Verbs
Get rid of there is/There are/ it is.
The strongest subject completes the most robust action.
– Original: “Working to Help Improve Science Teaching Efforts since 2008”
– Rewrite: “Teaching better learning techniques since 2008”
– H2 is the right heading choice
– Do not indent paragraphs in wordpress
-Wordpress does block quotes for you, do not try to make one on your own
– Hide URL link to article titles
– Punctuation goes into “”
– Natural language: Academic example, Subject matter of that paragraph is Kpop
– Language for our purposes is a disaster. The language they used would be better for an audience of other academics already fimilar to the topic.
– Do not always try to sound fancy, sometimes its easier to get right to the point
– During first draft just get your ideas and thoughts. Then work on laguage and organzation.
– Get rid of it, that, there is, and that means.
– For Hw, complete the robust verb assignment and post it within the blog
– Fix flawed sentences
– I also have to keep working on revisions for open strong and definition argument
grave stone where the wall separates these couples because they both had a different reglion
fix someones casual rewrite
Dont try to write a academic writing try to write it like your writing to your friends but a more proper way a more persuade way to make your readers more interesting
Take out needless words in writing for example there is, it is ,there are some ways not to start a sentence
you writing is like body fat or fat surgery where get rid of the fatty parts are your essay and things the dont need to be there
-In the riddle to start off class, there are 2 graves connected by holding hands over a wall one on each side of the wall
-One a man who believed in one religion and a woman who believed in another but couldn’t be buried in the same lot
-Slogan: “Becoming better science teachers since 2008”
-Using the “Quote” tool in WordPress will quote the information you have entered in italics
-Trying to sound “more academic” in your writing can actually be more harmful to your work
-If your paper doesn’t get your point across then it isn’t effective to the course work
-Getting rid of “it” “that” “there is” “there are” will only strengthen your writing but to replace these filler words with more incise phrases
11/8
NTSA Slogan
– Must be definitive and concrete in your slogans in order to grab your audience’s attention
– Shouldn’t have ambiguous language in it like “try, suggest, help, or efforts”, as that is not very persuasive for the readers
– A better slogan would be “Reputably improving science teaching across the country for years”
Housekeeping
– Titles should be descriptive of the topic, short and to the point so the audience can get to the point of the reading as soon as possible so they know what they are reading about right away.
– Don’t indent a new paragraph if you have an extra line space in between it and the previous paragraph
– Block quoting should be structured in wordpress, highlight the paragraph and click the paragraph icon to the left of the little menu that pops up, and it will format your block quoting for you
– In references, article title should be in quotes, and link the article link to the title of the article by copying to your clipboard, highlight the anchor text, hit the link button, and paste the url in the pop up box and click on the “open in new tab” option
– Punctuation inside of quotation marks
Writing Skills
– Try not to sound overly academic in your writing, as it will confuse the audience
– Think about writing as having a conversation with someone
– Working for clarity and persuasiveness, not academic writing
– Do not clutter your writing with random filler words to sound smarter, it will make the audience less interested
– Avoid “its, thats, there is, and there are” in your writing, there is no use for phrases and words like those
– “because of the fact that” and “due tot he fact that” are both pointless, can change both to “because”
11/8/22 In-Class Notes
The graves are most likely built in such a way because the people buried there had a familial relationship or were a couple, and there was no more space after when the first was built to put them next to each other.
A possible slogan would be “Teaching Excellence in Science since 2008”
Trying endlessly to improve our work in pursuit of an A+ is unwise. There will always be at least some areas to improve upon in our writing. Unless we’re just improving our writing for the sake of it, we will eventually reach a point of diminishing returns.
As has been stressed time and time again, empty superfluous language doesn’t have a place in the course. We need to keep our reader’s understanding intact with robust claims clearly communicated in a succinct manner.
Strength and clarity are often one in the same. The same stretching of sentences with contractions or articles or other constructions which make for a paragraph that is harder to understand also make for a paragraph that is harder for your reader to agree with. This may not even take the form of some terrible overuse of these kinds of words, but if a sentence can be written another way there still could be room for improvement in an overall decent paragraph.
We don’t need to spend a whole sentence to say something “is”. “It is obviously the case that” or “While it is often disputed that… it is true” are wastes of a paper’s real estate. Building an argument is an uphill battle and attention is an expendable resource. Active language is usually going to be better than passive language. The less we weigh down our argument the better.
Take the excerpt “not all will be treated equally because of the individual’s disadvantages or advantages.” Does “because of the individual’s disadvantages or advantages” actually add anything that was not already communicated or implied by “not all will be treated equally” to the sentence? The word equally is already present, and if it wasn’t it could easily replace the latter half of the sentence to cut down on fluff. So if it could easily replace that part of the sentence, why should that part of the sentence be there now?
Maybe feeling a bit down about constant feedback, but the end goal is being shaped. It might be disheartening, but it’ll be worth it.
“Ever tried, ever failed, no matter. Try again, fail again, fail better” – Samuel Beckett
NSTA Logo: worst slogan ever. Can be deconstructed. Using words like “working to” and “teaching efforts” makes them passive.
Better Slogan: “Better teachers, better students”
Housekeeping: Fix up definition rewrite
Academic Writing: trying to sound smart or academic for your college papers will not be helpful. It’s harmful to your style, and it makes it that much harder to stay coherent. It’s annoying to the reader and no one appreciates it. Stop getting in your own way! Wordiness is a crime, and getting to the point is essential.
Words like “it”, “that”, “there is”, “that means”, “there are”, are extremely overused. Trim the fat off of the paper.
Your writing should follow your natural voice.
Notes October 8
Fix a slogan – a slogan that may seem good from the writer’s point of view actually goes against their point. For example, we are working to help improve science teaching efforts. This slogan shows us nothing of what they are actually doing, just what they’re TRYING to help IMPROVE. For this reason and many other nonresult seeking usage and words used this slogan is horrible at achieving its point.
MY strong slogan. Our science teaching creates young scientists everyday.
Indents, block quotes, and links are issues because we are not consistently denting and adding appropriate block quotes, and adding long quotes.
Make sure to avoid trying to indent in word press, it doesn’t work. Also try using minimal lines or “chunks” from a quote and if necessary incorporate a block quote.
Also make sure to include a heading in all your work alongside the requested title for the document
The word references not bolded, underline and in the middle
Link the links to the title , title of the article in reference is in quotation marks not italicized, publication is in italics
Comma and periods inside the quote, so if quotes crash stick a word in their
Block quotes are three lines or more
Add links in the title in the paragraphs as well
Can still be fun with your reader, find a good balance of academic and fun
Take out too wordy sentences and too many useless words
Good thing to do is start with a question then answer it. Do we think our daughter’s boyfriend isn’t good enough? It may be evolution’s fault.
Riddle
The two graves are separate because they each followed a different religion
The graves are holding hands over a wall because they weren’t allowed to be buried together
Wake Up
The National Science Teachers Association: “Educating the Scientific Youth”
Housekeeping
You don’t have to indent on the blog
Make sure to hide the link to the source in the title of the source in your paper
Make sure to start getting rid of words you don’t need
Use a tone that is informative but not pretentious
Stop using “you” because it sounds like you’re lecturing the reader
The strongest subject completes the most robust action
Class Notes:
– The National Science Teachers Association
” Improving scientific studies. Est. 2008″
– Use indents: further from margin the first part of the text.
– Use block quotes: place quotations as it’s own paragraph.
– Links: titles and descriptions.
– References: should be placed separate from the essay. It should have it’s own section.
– Reduce the usage of : it, that, there is, there are, that means.
these words are vague and don’t prove much.
– There is, there are, it is.
the weakest sentence established that something is.
– Work on one essay for the portfolio.
11/08/22
Showed video of a guy falling off stairs into a trampoline to remind us that no matter how hard we may get knocked down or fall, we can always come back up and go back to where we started.
“Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try again. Fail again. Fail better.” -Sakuel Beckett. No writer is perfect and also does better than the previous attempt.
Slogan of the National Science Teachers Association, “Working to Help Improve Science Teaching Effects since 2008” Is explained wrong. We want to improve teaching, not effort. We want to improve, not help. We want to show results, not work at it. Maybe they could say, “Demonstrably Better Learning since 2008” or even “Our Students Learn More, and We Can Prove It.”
I was not in class, but here is what I learned was discussed:
– Use indents: further from the margin of the first part of the text
– Use block quotes: place quotations in their own paragraph
– Link to titles and descriptions
– Reduce the usage of it, that, there is, there are, that means. These words are vague and do not give information.
– Use a tone that is informative but not pretentious. Your writing should follow your natural voice.
– Take out too wordy sentences and too many useless words. Try not to waste the 1000 words with filler.
The National Science Teachers Association had a motto that read, “Working to Help Improve Science Teaching Efforts since 2008,” and the riddle had two graves with a catholic woman and her protestant husband.
The National Science Teachers Association’s catchphrase would be “The Best Learning Since 2010”
Professors can try to convince you that sounding like a language factory is crucial to your success.
It is difficult to envisage a culture that is not influenced by music, to name a few instances. Good prose can be destroyed by clichés. The beginning paragraph shown below demonstrates several harmful components that a decent rewrite will remove.Instability was an expected result of the Covid 19 epidemic. Many people had lost their employment as a result of this. The social instability brought on by the virus overran the healthcare institutions.
As we looked through the samples, we realized how often they may be strengthened by replacing weak sentences with strong subject-verb pairs.
“Working to help improve science teaching efforts since 2008”
Better Science Teaching Since 2008
Our Students Learn More, and We Can Prove It
Reducing Jargon and “Academese”
Having clarity and persuasion is better then “sounding academic”
Finding the most clear way to phrase something can often add more to your paper then using academic wordiness
Sorry for posting this comment late, I meant to do it during the class but it completely slipped my mind