The lack of green infrastructure will make some cities and towns crumble. Green infrastructure is the approach of substituting existing infrastructure with new technology that meets the needs of current and future needs. Those who have successfully implemented green infrastructure will flourish as a town, but for those who still need to, it might be a good idea to start before it’s too late.
The lack of green infrastructure in our environment is why we have such trouble keeping our towns and cities pristine. Our current infrastructure leaks continuously and pollutes our precious land. Towns and cities do not want to fund upgrades since they are too expensive, but that might be a costly mistake. Without the necessary advancements to our current infrastructure, our environment will become sicker and will soon become uninhabitable for humankind.
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Counterintuitive Fall 2022 
I do not see a category for this assignment. Once I see it, I will add it in.
I want feedback on if I did a good enough job catching my reader’s attention. I have always struggled with openings and feel like they are the main reason some of my essays do worse than others.
Green infrastructure will be the reason why some cities and towns will crumble. Some think green infrastructure is not critical, while others ask what green infrastructure is. Those who have successfully implemented green infrastructure will thrive. As to the towns/cities that don’t, good luck rebuilding.
—I love the boldness of the first-sentence claim, BB, but I think you got it backwards.
—Cities with green infrastructure will thrive, right?
—LACK OF green infrastructure will cause cities to crumble.
—Next question. Will they crumble or will they choke? Will they sicken? Will they suffocate? Will they drown?
—Don’t introduce critics before you establish your own dominance.
—Instead of asking yourself what green infrastructure is, tell your readers in a sentence what it is.
Green infrastructure is the sole reason we are having trouble combatting climate change. Infrastructure leaks everywhere and pollutes precious waterways. Towns/cities do not want to fund upgrades since they are too expensive, but should that even be a question? Without the necessary upgrades to our infrastructure, our environment will become sicker and will soon become uninhabitable for humankind.
—Backwards again.
—Lack of Green Infrastructure is why we’re in trouble.
—Do you want to position its LACK as a PROBLEM keeping us from solving a PROBLEM?
—Or do you want to position it as a SOLUTION to a PROBLEM?
—Readers will not immediately get the connection between “leaky infrastructure” and “climate change” or between polluted waterways and climate change. Maybe you mean something more general like environmental catastrophe.
—Rhetorical Questions like “should that even be a question?” are not persuasive.
Between the two paragraphs, all the touchstones and attitudes are here for a strong opening, BB. The toughest part of paring your writing down to the essentials is that when every word matters, every word matters. Ironic, isn’t it?
This post is eligible for Revision and a Regrade.
Very useful feedback. I will take the time soon to make revisions.
Hi Professor, I would like a regrade.
Much better, BB, but, as usual, I would recommend tightening and sharpening.
Lack of green infrastructure is already sickening cities and towns, but it’s not too late to retrofit aging, leaky, unsanitary water treatment systems. New towns will guide the way with systems that capture and make use of every raindrop. Old towns will catch up or suffer the consequences.
Provisionally graded. Always eligible for Revisions and a Regrade.