Visual rewrite-shxrkbait

0:00-0:01:

We see a man young black man who is probably in his 20s.The vibrant color of his overshirt makes your eyes focus on him. The man is rolling up what appears to be a sleeping bag or blanket possibly on the floor. We can infer that he is getting ready to go somewhere. As he is rolling this object up we see smoke coming out of his mouth. The smoke immediately grabs your attention and is the center focus of this scene. Since he is inside, the smoke doesn’t appear to be coming from his breath due to the cold. Therefore we can infer that he was smoking something, possibly marijuana, a cigarette or a vape.

The scene is not animated, it is a real life depiction. The colors are dull, likely to not draw attention away from the young man. His shirt is the brightest thing in the room to help your eyes focus on him. The camera is set on the floor and panning down at his hands. His forehead is cut out of the picture. We don’t need to see his whole face to understand the message. The man is rolling up a blanket or sleeping bag on the floor. Only the young man and this object are in focus in this image. The items in the background are out of focus. This helps keep your eyes drawn to the young man so we focus on the smoke blowing out of his mouth.

0:01-0:02:

The scene cuts to a young white man who is probably in his 20s as well. Because they look around the same age and are both packing, we can guess that they might be going somewhere together. He is wearing a blue flannel and pants. Because he is wearing long sleeves and long pants we can infer that it is fall or spring. He is not pictured wearing a winter jacket so it is most likely not winter. From the way the two present themself we can make an assumption that they are probably somewhere in the middle class bracket. They appear to be well dressed in clean clothes and their personal hygiene also appears to be well taken care of. They are younger and aren’t wearing anything extravagant or have any high end designer brands in sight so we can assume they aren’t overly wealthy. The man is zipping up a yellow duffle bag. Now that we have seen the young black man and this young man packing, we can infer they are getting ready to go somewhere.

The camera quickly pans down as the duffle bag is being zipped. We cannot see the person who is zipping the bag because only the hands are in the frame. We do get a glimpse before the camera focuses on his hands. We can tell it is a different guy because it is a young white male and we see the blue sleeves from his flannel. The emphasis of zipping the duffle bags helps the audience understand they are packing to go on a trip.

0:02-0:03:

We see the young man carrying the duffle bag, a backpack on his shoulder and another bag in his hand as he is walking down the stairs. As he is walking smoke is coming out of his mouth. The smoke is in the center of the screen and is what your eyes immediately look at. The director did this purposefully so that those who are watching understand that the smoke is the main focus of the film. He does not look different so it is hard to tell why the smoke is being focused on in every clip. If there was no smoke in this scene we would perceive him as just a young man carrying bags down the stairs and getting ready to go on a trip. With the addition of the smoke we assume he may be vaping, smoking a cigarette, or smoking marijuana. The absence of a vape or a cigarette makes us assume that maybe the young man was smoking something he wasn’t supposed to.

The camera is panned upwards as this young man is walking down the steps. The walls are white and the young man is wearing different variations of blue and carrying a bright yellow bag. The contrast in these colors help keep the audience focus on the young man and make him stand out in front of the background. Because the camera is pointing up and focused on him as he is walking down the steps, we are able to clearly see the smoke coming from his mouth. There is a window behind him and the natural light shining it makes the smoke illuminate and helps the audience see it clearly.

0:03-0:06:

The scene cuts and focuses on a young black girl who is walking up to the door and looking at her reflection. She is smiling and you can tell by her expression that she is happy. While she is waiting at the door she exhales and blows smoke out. Once again, the common theme is the focus on the smoke coming from her mouth. The young white male answers the door and they engage in a conversation before walking out together. His hand is out and it appears they they may of fist bumped or did a handshake but the girl was blocking the view. Because of the common image of smoke we can infer at this point that all three have been smoking something before meeting up.

The camera is positioned behind her so that we are able to see the girls reflection in the glass on the door. This angle helps us be able to see the smoke the is illuminating from her mouth. This angle also helps us see the young white man open the door. He is smiling so we can tell he is happy to see her. The three characters we have seen so far all appear to be friends. We have not seen anything to indicate that any of them are in a relationship with another. The image of diversity between the friends is used by the directors to convey a message that anyone can be affected but it isn’t clear whether the affect is from tobacco, nicotine, or marijuana.

0:07-0:08:

The scene once again cuts. We see the two men placing their bags into the trunk of the SUV. The SUV appears to be a more recent model as it looks in good condition and doesn’t have any noticeable damage/wear and tear. We see a cooler, lots of blankets, and maybe jackets. We can tell they are going on a camping trip from these items as these are all things needed to stay outdoors.

The camera is following behind the men as they walk to load their bags in the trunk. This view helps the audience establish that the friends are meeting up to go on a trip together. The neighborhood appears to be a nice middle class neighbor with moderate size homes. The lawns appear

0:09:

Again the scene cuts and a young blonde girl is featured walking. She is wearing a denim jacket and walking casually. She approches the three other characters we have seen and we can assume they are friends because they are all smiling. All the friends are dressed for colder weather. The sun doesn’t appear to be shining too much. Although the scene only depicts her for a second, she is seen blowing smoke out of her mouth the whole time the camera is on her. Once again the action of exhaling the smoke grabs the audiences attention. It appears the two girls did not bring any luggage because were not shown packing or carrying anything like the two men. We can infer that maybe the men carried all the bags because we do see numerous bags in the trunk of the car.

The camera follows along side the blonde as she is walking. She is the center focus of the scene and everything else is blurred out of focus. The camera only catches from the torso and up. This angle helps keep the focus on her so that we notice the smoke coming out of her mouth.

0:10-0:11:

Once the girl is pictured walking, the men shut the trunk. The doors of the car are then shut as well. All four friends are now in the car together. From this and the items in the trunk we can assume they are heading on a trip somewhere. It is not apparent where the car is parked so we cant assume that whoever’s house it is would be the driver if the car was in the driveway. The directors purposely made the location of the car unknown so we don’t know who was supposed to be driving the car.

0:12:

When the camera cuts to inside the car, no one is sitting in the drivers seat. The two girls and the young white male are sat in the back and the young black male is in the front passenger seat. The friends all looked confused as to who is driving because the driver seat was empty. Did they all assume the other was driving? It’s at this point in the video we can assume the smoke coming out of their mouth was probably marijuana because no one is volunteering to drive.

The camera appears to be sitting on the dash because we can see a frontal view of the front and back seat. This view allows the audience to the where everyone is seated in the car. It also puts emphasis on the driver seat being empty.

0:13-0:22:

The friends are looking around at each other. It appears they are talking and pointing at each other. We can infer that since the previous clip showed no one in the drivers seat that the friends are tying to figure out who was supposed to be driving. It appears that each person assumed they weren’t going to be driving. Everyone is pointing at each other looking confused, we can say they probably are claiming they though the other person was driving. The young blonde girl appears to be laughing and doesn’t seem too concerned. It becomes more apparent that the smoke we saw may of been marijuana as no one was willing to hop in the driver seat. If it was a cigarette then there is no reason one wouldn’t be able to drive. As they are sitting waiting in the car and looking around at each other they must be trying to figure out what to do.

The camera is still positioned on the dash and allowing us to see that a conversation is going on. You can tell they are going around the car claiming they weren’t supposed to be driving because each person begins to speak and then points at the person next to them.The camera at this angle helps the audience be able to see the confusion on everyone’s face. This also helps infer that a driver was not established and everyone assumed someone else was going to be driving.

0:23-0:24:

The friends all laugh and we see everyone open their door to get out of the car. From what we can tell, the friends are laughing because they figured that some one else was in charge of driving until they realize that none of them are able to drive right now. Once they realized they could not drive they decided to be responsible and get out of the car.

The director chose this group of people to show that those who smoke marijuana aren’t just young kids and that anyone can be capable of driving under the influence. A common misconception i’ve seen and had myself in the past is that girls don’t smoke marijuana nearly as much as men so I think the directors included characters of different races and genders to target a general audience and not a specific audience.

0:25-0:26:

The scene cuts to the four friends getting out of the car. They move to the back of the car and open the trunk. We now know they have decided not to drive anywhere and we can infer that they are going to unpack the car. It’s not clear at this point if the friends are going to wait until they sober up or if they are going to skip the trip all together. They are all standing around the trunk and laughing so it doesn’t appear their trip was ruined.

The focus on the trunk opening up and the friends reaching in helps the audience determine that they are unpacking the car. This ad reflects a socially acceptable attitude towards marijuana as long as it is used responsibly. This ad could not of been made 10 or even 5 years ago because marijuana was largely socially unaccepted and viewed as worse than alcohol. In more recent years mariujana has become legally in many states so this has become more of a relevant issue that is talked about more frequently.

0:27:

The camera cuts the the four friends sitting on the front lawn with their camping gear set up. The house must belong to one of the friends if they are set up in the front yard. The house in the background is fairly large. This must be a middle class neighborhood. Instead of driving impaired, the group set up camp right in their own front yard. This verifies that the friends were mentally impaired and not willing/able to drive at that moment. Despite not being able to go one their trip, it seems like the friends are having a good time.

0:28-0:30:

The words “if you feel different, you drive different” appear on the screen and is what stands out the most. The friends are sitting around laughing and the two guys in the middle high five. This signifies that you can still have fun even if your plans change. These friends knew they would be putting themselves and others at risk if they were to drive so they decided to make the most of the situation.

The ad was overall effective at conveying the message if you use a mind altering substance your driving and reaction timing is going to be affected. The safest option when you feel “off” is to wait to drive until it is safe to do so. You can still have fun if you have to postpone so you don’t need to drive just because you worry about missing out on the fun. This ad specifically targets a crowd who uses marijuana because people often believe they can drive perfectly fine after smoking.

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3 Responses to Visual rewrite-shxrkbait

  1. shxrkbait's avatar shxrkbait says:

    Is the rhetorical aspect of my argument there? What can I improve to make my rhetoric better?

  2. davidbdale's avatar davidbdale says:

    I’m about 8 seconds in and I’m liking what I’m seeing, Shxrkbait. Ordinarily, I would note things I believe are missing from your observations. In your case, I’m going to congratulate you on the keen observations you’ve caught. If that helps you pay even stricter attention for a revision, we’ll both have succeeded.

    0:00-0:01:
    —I like your visual analysis about focus and our center of attention.
    —I’m glad you didn’t shrink from observing the race of the character. As much as we like to think we’re color-blind, the actor was not cast blindly.

    0:01-0:02:
    —I like the assumption that they’ll be traveling together. It may be untrue, but we do jump to that conclusion based on the similarities in their dress, demeanor, activity.
    —The scene cuts to a young white man who is probably in his 20s as well.
    —Good observation of costuming indicating season. Does it indicate anything else about their economic status, social bracket, politics, gender affiliation? It always COULD.

    0:02-0:03:
    —I like that you conclude the young man is impaired, but I do wonder how. The ABSENCE of a cigarette or vape device is helpful. But we don’t actively see weed being smoked either. How DO we decide?

    0:03-0:06:
    —It’s good to conclude they’re happy to see each other.
    —Their smoking connects them too. Does anything else? Now that we have three characters, are they related? Friends? Romantic? Are the directors trying to use the diversity as part of their message? Too soon to know?

    0:07-0:08:
    —Late model SUV? Charming neighborhood? Low-rent housing and beat-up cars? They COULD BE. If they’re not . . . .

    0:09:
    —Will the two black and the two white characters pair up? Are you sure you didn’t wonder? Is it relevant? Why this cast?
    —Did the white girl bring any baggage? Did the black girl? Are the men carrying everything?

    0:10-0:11:
    —Where’s the car? In the driveway of the home of one of the characters? If so, the car’s owner is the likely driver. Or are we meant to NOT KNOW whose car it is?

    0:12:
    Nice.
    —So, is it at THIS point that we start to think they might be high, or has it been on our minds since 0:00?

    0:13-0:22:
    —Could you tell the passengers were answering in sequence the question about who was supposed to drive?

    0:23-0:24:
    —Why these people?
    —Why couldn’t they all have been younger? All the same race? All guys? All girls?

    0:25-0:26:
    —Their trip was surely ruined, but their day doesn’t have to be.

    0:27:
    —Everything you say is true. Does the ad reflect a particular social attitude toward marijuana smoking? Could it have been made ten years ago?

    0:28-0:30:
    —How effective is the ad at achieving its purpose (To answer, you’ll have to identify the purpose.)?
    —Does the ad have a specific audience?

    —Consider adding a “Post Viewing Analysis” in which you share whether you believe the ad was effective overall WITHOUT SOUND.
    —Then you can watch WITH SOUND and tell us whether the audio was Unnecessary, Helpful, Contradictory, At Odds, Intrusive, etc., and why.
    —Did the creators have a clear message to communicate? Did they do so effectively?

    If my Notes are enough help, you should be able to revise this without further feedback. If you want another review following your best revisions, let me know and put it back into Feedback Please.

    Provisionally Graded. Grades will be posted following Trick or Treat.

  3. shxrkbait's avatar shxrkbait says:

    Thank you for your feedback! I found this very helpful.

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