Visual Rewrite- beforeverge

Magic Hour :30 Pets and People Together

0:00-0:01

The very beginning is a frame of the inside of a house. We can only see nice, white trim to the left and a room in the background t the right. It looks like a living room, with a couch and coffee table. The house has warm colors like brown and orange, reminding me of fall. We focus our eyes on the empty space beside the trim, in the opening of a doorway.

A girl’s hand appears first, grabbing the edge of the doorway. Then, the rest of her body follows to look just past the camera, slightly upward. She appears to be around late middle school age. She wears a cute, bright shirt, and she is smiling. I can see that she is a happy person. Her facial features allow me to infer that she seems to have down syndrome. A few of her front teeth are missing. Her lips move quickly, like she is speaking to whatever person she is looking at. With her smile and happy nature, she seems excited to talk to this person.

The choice of casting a girl with down syndrome could have multiple meanings. Most likely, it is just to normalize the condition and allow an array of people in casting. It could have a specific meaning depending on the rest of the video, but since it’s about pets, that is unlikely.

0:01- 0:02

The frame switches to a white middle-aged woman. She is white with dark hair. Since they look like they’re in a house, it must be the girl’s mother. In this shot, we can only view her head. Behind her is a few picture frames and a white wall. Her face is blank, first facing forward. The girl was probably talking to her and asking a question. She quickly turns her head away from the girl, to the right, and looks slightly downward. This is probably in response to what the girl said to her.

0:02-0:03

This shot is on a digital alarm clock sitting on a nightstand. It reads 5:00. The room is very bright with natural appearing light, so it must be 5:00 am. I’m assuming the girl asked for the time, or maybe a question with a relevance to time, so the mother checked it. The clock is on a nightstand with a picture frame beside it. This room must be a bedroom.

0:03-0:05

The woman turns her head back to look in the left, slightly down. Her lips move. She must be looking at the daughter again and responding to her. She is framed from shoulders up now, so I can see that she is wearing a green shirt. There is an orange lamp behind her. Everything seems to be fall colors, and the girl and woman both wear long sleeves, so I’m assuming it’s autumn.

0:05-0:08

We view a shot of the kitchen through a narrow doorway. In front of the doorway is a picture and a table to the left. The right side has a tall, rounded table with multiple shelves. There are jars and bowls sitting on the shelves. The kitchen has cabinets and a window with thin curtains and bright light shining through. There are some bottles on the counter and what looks to be dishes just in the camera angle to the right.

The girl walks quickly, with excitement, from the right to the left over to a dog food bowl on the floor. There is a large bag, dog food, next to the bowl. The bowl is light green with little white bones on it. A gray mat is under the bowl, most likely to keep the floor clean. She holds a scooper for dog food in her hand. As she leans down to reach into the bag, a dog trots in from the left. It’s small, the dog’s body just reaching the girl’s knees, with fluffy, light brown/tan fur. It’s ears are perked and it’s tail is wagging, excited to eat. The girl must have asked the mother if it was time for the dog to eat, and the mother must have said yes.

0:08-0:10

The camera focuses on floor level, centering the dog bowl. The mat is still underneath and the floor is red tile. It looks like there is a door with a window in the background. A hand reaches down with the dog food scooper, coming from the top. This must be the girl’s hand. She leans the scooper down and food falls from it into the bowl. The dog, with a green collar, is to the left of the bowl, looking down, watching the food fall in. It then starts to eat the food quickly and excitedly.

0:10-0:12

Outside, in presumably a neighborhood, a person stands to the left behind a white table. It is a white woman with short, white/gray hair. She wears a long-sleeve yellow shirt. There are bushes, trees, and a house in the background. There’s a clipboard with paper and a pencil on the table. A bag of pet food is blocking part of the right camera.

A person to the right of the table passes a bag of pet food over to the person on the left. The person to the right is a black man with a long, dark blue shirt. They place it down on the table. The right person passes a smaller bag over again. They are smiling and speaking to each other. It looks like the person receiving the bag says, “thank you.” This could be donations for pet supplies.

The neighborhood seems friendly and supportive. They’re kind, giving nature is seen in every person so far. Since the trees in the background are mostly bare with a few orange leaves, I still believe it is fall.

0:12-0:14

Back to the woman and the girl, they are walking from the left to the right of the screen down a sidewalk. They are wearing different clothes, so it might be a new day. They’re outside in a neighborhood with a short brick wall beside the sidewalk and old-style houses in the background. The girl is far ahead of the woman with the dog leading her, attached to a leash. The woman is behind following her. They must be walking the dog in the morning.

The mother must trust the girl a lot to let her go ahead and walk the dog on her own. This could mean the dog is well-trained as well. Since the girl is walking much faster than the woman, she must be excited to get to their destination.

0:14-0:15

A small shot of a clock with a white wall and shadows in the background. It is analog, hanging from the middle of an upside-down “u” shape bar. The hour hand is almost at five, both not exactly, and the minute hand is on 12, which makes zero sense. I’m guessing it’s just 5 0’clock again, and time to feed the dog.

0:15-0:17

This is similar to the view of the kitchen from earlier, but far back, so we can see most of the room. A different trim is on the right of the screen, another doorway. The room in front of the kitchen has mostly bare walls and a small table to the right. There is a radiator under a window to the left. In the corner behind the radiator, there is a shelved cart on wheels while pots and pans on it. It looks like a dining room. Since the family only seems to be the girl and mother, this is a very nice home for them.

The girl runs from one room into the kitchen through the narrow doorway. The dog runs and follows her. The woman is in the kitchen, standing in front of the counter at the window. I believe that is wear the sink in the kitchen is located. Her hands are moving. I believe she is doing dishes. She turns her head and looks back, in the direction of the girl, watching her run into the kitchen. They are wearing different clothes again, so it must be a new day.

0:17-0:18

We view the dog bowl on the floor, again. The scooper pours more food in. The dog is not there this time. The girl must have gone in the kitchen to feed it again. 5 0’clock must be the time the dog gets fed. 5 am seems very early for that, so I think it’s actually 5 pm everyday.

0:18-0:20

From a worm’s eye perspective, we see two white boxes, one labeled “Pet Food Donations.” A black man smiles from behind them as someone places a bag in the box. We can only see his head with the boxes in the way. They appear to be outside a building with tan brick behind the man. I’m guessing the girl and mother get their pet food from this donation supply. It must incite happiness for the viewers that they can easily access these donations. It should make us happy to see the dog and the girl happy.

0:20-0:22

The girl lays on her stomach under a tall, traditional, brown table. A chair to match is moved out of the way behind the table. The girl has a book open in front of her and she holds a marker, probably coloring. There are a few markers beside her as well. The dog is laying down next to her, looking somewhere in the distance. Her mouth moves as her head is turned toward the dog, speaking to it. It’s ears perk up at first, the drop, as it pants. The girl could be asking if the dog is hungry, and if it’s time to eat again.

Seeing the dog accompanying girl in her activity is really cute. They must be very close. Dog’s tend to attach to people, especially children. They have a protective nature over their people. It could remind viewers of their own dogs and how they always end up being right beside you.

0:22-0:23

We see another analog clock, reading 5:00, on the wall. It is definitely the dog’s dinner time now. That is what the girl must have said to the dog.

0:23-0:23

Quick shot of the food bowl, scooper coming from the top, pouring more food in. The camera is peering more into the bowl now instead of being from the floor. The girl feeds the dog again. The dog is still not there. It must be out of shot, waiting for the food to be done pouring.

0:23-0:24

Our view is from inside the pet donation box. There are other bags inside as someone places another one in. The box is pretty full, so a lot of people must donate. This confirms my idea that the neighborhood is pretty supportive and close-knit. They must care about each other or just helping people in general.

0:24-0:26

A black man is outside, the pet donation table behind him. The table is outside a building with tan brick. The boxes themselves are sat next to the table, taller than the table. The look very full, overflowing. A woman with shirt, white hair stands behind the table. She looks like the woman from the first shot of the donation area. There is a white tent covering it. The man carries a bag of pet food into the trunk of his car. His car is small and gray. He must be getting the donations to take home. It’s possible he can’t afford his own or doesn’t have access to healthy options for his pet.

0:26-0:30

We’re viewing the kitchen through the first doorway again. The girl in sitting on the floor next to the dog bowl, cross-legged, pouring food in with the scooper. The dog is in front of her waiting to eat. Text on the screen reads, “Be a helper donate pet food.” As the dog eats, “Be a helper,” stays. The second part of the sentence changes to, “foster a pet,” then, “find a lost pet.” A link for the organization is below it.

I’m assuming the girl and her mother get their pet food from the donation center. We are meant to feel sympathetic emotion for them and find motivation to donate. It’s sweet to see how excited she was to feed the dog throughout the video. The family must care about the dog a lot, and viewers are meant to as well. Any pet owner can relate to hungry, excited dog. It was heartwarming to see how they care for it. It could entice non-pet owners to get a dog as well and feel the same excitement.

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8 Responses to Visual Rewrite- beforeverge

  1. beforeverge's avatar beforeverge says:

    Do I need to add more information about what the story means overall?

    • davidbdale's avatar davidbdale says:

      Almost certainly, BeforeVerge.

      Before we start revising here, though, please copy and paste your text into a second post in the Visual Rhetoric category. We’ll save that one intact to have a comparison and make improvements to this one.

  2. beforeverge's avatar beforeverge says:

    I fixed the categories. How can I improve my paper?

  3. davidbdale's avatar davidbdale says:

    Since you’ve asked whether you need more detail, and since I can see from a quick scan that most of your entries are scant, I’ll do a model of the first second and see how ours compare.

    0:00-0:01

    The video opens on a home interior. The left third of the screen is in focus and includes the edge of a door frame with nicely-painted trim. The right two-thirds of the screen are completely out of focus but give the general impression of a well-appointed room with perhaps a carpentered radiator screen, a curtained window, a floor lamp, sofa and coffee table, and framed pictures: a cozy home. We have nothing to focus on besides the door frame, so that’s where our eye goes, but we have a generally favorable first impression of the setting.

    Still within the first second, we see, judging from the size and shape of the fingers, a child’s hand gripping the door frame from inside the furnished room. The action is quick and suggests a child in a hurry to enter the space we occupy, or to pull him/herself into the doorway.

    Still in the first second, we see a long-haired head follow the hand into the doorway, suggesting a girl, further confirmed by the huge polka dots on her long-sleeved garment.

    Before we see her entire face, we see enough of her heavy-lidded eyes, slightly gaping mouth, and broad-based nose to recognize the facial features of a child with Down Syndrome. The girl appears happy, and enters speaking rapidly, apparently eager to share some news with someone in the room we share with the camera. Her missing top front teeth help us place her age at 6-8, the age at which most kids lose their baby teeth. Her joy is infectious and gives us an immediately positive emotional response. Most viewers will find her adorable.

    We are more accustomed in recent years to seeing positive images of Down Syndrome adults and children, so that’s not surprising, but it does create expectations. Some directors cast such actors FOR their condition, to help us understand more about individuals with Down Syndrome. But, just as often these days, such actors are cast to help us IGNORE their condition, as a way to normalize their representation in media. One or the other choices may be operating here. We don’t know which, but we’ll be alert to either.

    We are now poised to learn who the girl is talking to in the room we “occupy” and the source of her joy.

    End of the first second.

    Does that help?

  4. beforeverge's avatar beforeverge says:

    Yes, that helps. I will probably end up writing far more than 1,000 words. Is that okay?

  5. beforeverge's avatar beforeverge says:

    I revised and would like a new grade.

  6. davidbdale's avatar davidbdale says:

    Much better, BV. A few things though.
    —You share a lot of visual details without explaining their Rhetorical purpose. Of course, not every detail HAS a rhetorical purpose (including the colors of the dog bowl, perhaps), but when they DO seem relevant or purposeful, you earn credibility by calling out why the choice was made.
    —More than once I found myself asking, “Is this the same house from a different angle? Is this the same donation center on two different days?” You come close to eventually drawing those conclusions, but not quite closing the deal. Why should we be in suspense?

    If you’d like a grade boost, I recommend watching the video again and listening to the sound track this time. Add a section called “Post Audio Analysis” and let us know how much the soundtrack aided comprehension (or frustrated it), how persuasive it was (or not). and whether you drew radically different conclusions from the “complete experience” of audio/video or not. Did the creators made good choices of complementary elements?

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