A student last semester wrote the following Purposeful Summary. His name was Wazoo. As you read Wazoo’s comment, see if you can answer this essential question:
What’s He Talking About?
It seems counterintuitive that we buy iphones and use them knowing that there are bugs out there, in which they allow people to spy on you. We do not know how long apple has known about this but we do know they were warned and still decided to not do anything.
Personal Privacy plays a big party in everyone’s life, as well as their cell phones. The majority of cell phones are iphones and to have bugs in which people can spy on you is not acceptable. There is no way a little kid was the first to find this. Apple has known about this and they just have kept it a secret. They hire some of the best hackers in the world to work for them to find bugs. So why did they take so long to react?
Apple is one of the largest companies in the world. so some people might think theres a chance they didnt see the complaint right away or they kept it on to gain information about all of its users. After 2 weeks they finally sent a fix but this took so long because they werent done spying on the innocent people in this world. Apple is all about making profit and this move was one for them to get a better understanding on how to advertise to the world.
In addition to some punctuation errors, Wazoo here is neglecting an ABSOLUTELY ESSENTIAL aspect of Purposeful Summary: to summarize.
Very likely, because it was resolved more than a year ago, you don’t remember much about Apple’s FaceTime bug. If you happened to read Wazoo’s comment on a website about Apple products, would you have any idea what the article he was summarizing said about these questions?
—Would you know how the “spying” occurs?
—Would you know what program or app was compromised?
—Would you understand that it activated the recipient’s camera and microphone before he answered a FaceTime call?
—Would you understand what Wazoo meant about a kid being the first to “find this”?
—Would you understand the context of the “2 week” delay?
What Wazoo DOES do well here is to shape the news to his own agenda. It’s clear he’s suspicious of Apple’s motives and dubious that their slowness in responding to the crisis was innocent. In other words, his language is Purposeful, but he’s neglected the Summary, largely by using “it” and “this” to stand for material he left out.
Here’s the same summary with SPECIFIC DETAILS to replace IT and THIS.
It seems counterintuitive that we buy iphones and use them knowing that there are bugs in the product that allow people to spy on US. We do not know how long Apple has known about THE FLAW IN FACETIME THAT ACTIVATES THE RECIPIENT’S CAMERA AND MICROPHONE BEFORE SHE ACCEPTS THE CALL, but we do know they were warned and still decided NOT TO FIX THE BUG.
Personal Privacy—ESPECIALLY REGARDING OUR CELL PHONES—plays a big part in ALL OUR LIVES. The majority of cell phones are iPhones, and to have bugs THAT ALLOW CALLERS TO spy on US is not acceptable. IT’S NOT CREDIBLE THAT a little kid was the first to find THIS FLAW IN THE FACETIME APP. Apple has known about THIS THREAT TO OUR PRIVACY and they just kept it a secret. They hire some of the best hackers in the world to work for them to find bugs. So why did they take so long to react?
Apple is one of the largest companies in the world, so some people might think THERE’S a chance they DIDN’T see the TEENAGER’S REPORT THAT HIS PHONE WAS EAVESDROPPING ON HIS FRIEND’S CAMERA AND MICROPHONE right away, or they DELIBERATELY DELAYED FIXING THE BUG to gain information about all of THEIR users. After 2 weeks THE COMPANY finally sent a fix, but THE DELAY DEMONSTRATES they WEREN’T done spying on THEIR INNOCENT AND UNSUSPECTING CUSTOMERS. Apple is all about making PROFITS, and this CALLOUS INVASION OF THEIR USER BASE was A DELIBERATE ATTEMPT TO GAIN INTELLIGENCE THAT WOULD HELP THEM FURTHER VICTIMIZE THEIR CUSTOMERS WITH TARGETED ADVERTISING.
All right, so I did a little more than just replace IT and THIS. 🙂
But what the ALL CAPS material has in common is that it ADDS SPECIFIC DETAILS that provide readers with the background information they need.
In-Class Task
Leave a brief comment in the Reply field below to let me know if this is an effective demonstration of the value of specific details (or the danger of IT and THIS).
Also, Reply whether this demonstration will prompt you to revisit your own Purposeful Summaries with a better idea how to achieve a Regrade.
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Counterintuitive Fall 2022 
That was a great demonstration that allowed me to gain an understanding of the issue. I sometimes partake in this issue so it definitely was beneficial.
I’m glad it worked for you, Spy.
This was a good explanation and it will definitely make me think twice when writing. I assume that people always know what I am talking about, when in reality, that is far from true.
It’s an easy mistake to make, Coffee. We get so comfortable with the subject matter, we assume our claims are clear. For the same reason, our drafts are difficult to edit because our own ideas are too easy for us to follow.
This example shows how the writer had missed the idea of a purposeful summary and shows that more descriptive words make the writing more powerful to the readers.
I agree it does all of that, Devils.
This discussion made the dangers of “it” and “this” very clear. While I write I tend to believe that the subject matter I’m talking about is automatically understood by the reader when in reality that is simply not the case.
No trap is easier to fall into (and harder to recognize) than the solipsistic one. Even when we know the world doesn’t revolve around us, we forget that not everybody knows what we know.
This demonstration was very helpful! I will now be going back to look at my previous work to eliminate any use of “it” and “this”. The elimination of these words and replacing them with specific details will help make my work more clear and concise.
This lesson really did help me out understanding the problems with using “it” and “this.” As an avid user of those two words in my essays this was a whole different perspective. I will make sure to be more clear and provide more information in my future essays.
When we say “it” and “this” in our papers and don’t provide the necessary information needed, there is no claim being made. The paper becomes so vague and does not actually give any information. It just talks about the issues and never gets to the main point.
This was an effective demonstration because it allowed to to gain more clarification and how to better myself when writing these purposeful summaries. I will revisit my purposeful summaries because I believe that I also do this sometimes.
The demonstration about “it” and “this” and the dangers was very helpful today. I use “it” and “this” a lot when I write and I don’t even realize, but I am going to change so I adapt to not using “it” and “this” every time I write.
This prompt was useful, as I tend to use “it” and “this” frequently. I will be heading back to my Purposeful Summary, when I have the chance, to change any use of “it” or “this.”
The example was very informative about the ambiguity of using “it” and “this.” The first summary was relatively clear, but couldn’t understand the context. The other summary replaces those words providing clear background information that allows the reader to understand the discussion as a whole.
Definitely going back and checking my summaries.
Be wary of using “it or “that” when beginning a sentence. Whatever you are talking about should be clear so that the reader does not have to go back and read, or potentially guess about the topic of discussion. Specific details could make a huge difference in the quality of one’s work.
Personally, I think this is an effective demonstration of the dangers of “IT and THIS”. Now I will think twice when writing.
This demonstration did help me understand the value of clarifying language. I will look at my Purposeful Summaries to see if I made the same mistake.
This example of the purposeful summary is a very useful demonstration of the dangers of it and this, and what you can do without relying on them. The summaries with and without these dangerous words are day and night with the quality. With the two words present, a lot of information gets lost in the writer’s hindsight of referring the material he or she was writing from. Without using it and this, we are forced to write the information that is referred to, providing a much more precise and fluid paragraph.
This lesson helped me understand that I need to be more direct with what I’m addressing. I try to steer away from those words, but sometimes writing gets the best of me. It is something that I can continually work on for future assignments.
This demonstration really helped me gather a better understanding on the downside of using “this” or that”. Be careful when using this to start a sentence. It is better to specify what “this” is and then explaining. Our readers don’t know everything that we do know. Helpful technique would be to reread your essay and try to replace each use of “this” and “that” with more illustrative details.
This is a purposeful example it help me understand that I should less use this and it, instead I need to write more direct in what am I talking about, our readers know what we know
This lesson was very helpful and made me realize I make this mistake a lot in my own writing
This was most definitely a great example, I am however a terrible learner so I will be re reading this but it made the information easier to process.
this answered a lot of question for me because i was wondering how I could approve my essay template and how to have a positive flow of information
The example provides above is very helpful, because there is a demonstration of how to make your writing more professional and more understandable. Now there is a physical example of what can be improved in my paper and future papers
This demonstration really helped me in gaining knowledge that our readers most of the time do not know what we are talking about and must stay away from using this and it. Instead of those two keywords, replace them with what you’re talking about.
This was helpful and an important reminder to be more mindful of our reader/audience.
I thought that this was a good demonstration of showing the dangers of using “it” and “this” because especially in English, the reader needs to be known of the information being presented in the writer’s work. I tend to make mistakes like that and I feel that I am a little more aware of those issues now.
This was a clear explanation of introducing ideas properly in essays. It is easy to forget that the reader is not as informed as you are and avoding using “it” and “this” without context is important.
This was a good example because now I know when to use those kinda of words.Also because it this will help not use it and is or this in my essay as much I did before.
This prompt was very useful, it helped show the difference between an unclear text vs. a text that specifies what is being talked about. It also gave me a clearer understanding on ways I can substitute “this” and “it’s”