Original Paragraph:

Money seems to have a big role in our society; you can’t do much or get far if you don’t have any. Money is valuable in different ways, even when you don’t see it physically. In today’s society you must have faith in the government and in the banking system that your money is being handled in the proper manner; if not, then you would have to hide all of your money under your mattress or around your house. I have no clue what happens in the banks, or how they take care of your money. I always thought money was simple; you either have some or you don’t—that’s it. However, being introduced to this assignment, the Yap Fei, US gold, French francs, Brazilian cruzeros, and debit accounts now seem similar. You don’t actually see your money being transferred. When you get paid, you aren’t handed cash, you don’t receive a physical check, the money’s all directly transferred to your bank account, and you just have to trust that you got more money.

Revised Paragraph:

Money has a big role in our society, and people can’t do much without it. It’s valuable in many different ways, even when we don’t see it physically. Participation in today’s society requires us to put our faith in the government and banking system to handle our money properly; it’s that or hiding it under our mattresses. I know very little about how banks function or handle the money of their patrons. Currency seemed simple; a simple unit of exchange that we either do or do not have enough of. However, learning about the Yap Fei, US gold, French francs, and Brazilian cruzeros and debit accounts all in depth makes them all seem similar. People don’t actually see their money being transferred; when a person gets paid it’s rarely dealt in cash or physical paychecks. Instead, money’s all directly transferred to their bank account, with the requirement that they put their trust in the payer to get the money to them.