Causal Argument Rewrite- Shepardspy

The Causes of Choking

In the first game of the 1995 Eastern Conference Semifinals. 18 seconds to go with the New York Knicks up by 6 against the Indiana Pacers. With no hope for the Pacers, until the acclaimed Knick Killer, Reggie Miller, splashed two clutch three-point shots, leaving everyone in the arena on the edge of their seats and biting their nails. Following multiple missed shots by panicking Knicks players and a foul, the Pacers would eventually have a chance to end it all at the line. The man of the hour, Reggie Miller, performed the infamous choking gesture, taunting the Knicks for fumbling such a lead. With the game on the line, Reggie miller sunk both shots, winning the Pacers Game 1. The miraculous comeback story still sparks the common question of “How can a team choke that bad?”. 

Choking is referred to as the failure of a person, or persons to succeed as expected. In the case mentioned, the Knicks were considered to choke as they were expected to be victorious. Although Reggie Miller and Pacers fans may not care to wonder why the Knicks choked, it is beneficial to investigate the causes for such a matter. These causes include: abrupt judgment from outsiders makes it easy to neglect the causes of choking within athletes, which include negative emotions, previous failures, and the outside feelings of others. 

An experiment with 138 experienced basketball players conducted by C. Mesango and others, supports the huge contribution that the fear of negative evaluation makes in the process of choking. Within this study, researchers examined how basketball players’ fear of negative evaluation affects their performance. To start the experiment, each participant completed a Brief Fear of Negative Evaluation-II (BFNE-II) questionnaire. From there, players took a total of 50 shots from 5 different spots under low and high-pressure conditions. The results of this study showed that those who experienced high Fear of Negative Evaluation (FNE) had increased anxiety and decreased performance in high-pressure conditions. Those who experienced low-FNE had little to no difference when it came to high-pressure conditions. Thus showing the role that negative emotions play in a player’s inadequate performance.

Furthermore, this same phenomenon is apparent in a context not involving sports. For example, there is always that one person who considers themselves a “bad test taker”. No matter how much they prepare, when it comes to the moment to answer the questions on the exam, they blank. More likely than not it is the fear of negative evaluation that stimulates one to underperform in a situation like that. 

Research by Tim W. Fawcett and Rufus A. Johnstone proves that previous failures can lead to meager performances during high-pressure situations. The study explored the effects that normal civilians’ past experiences have on their future performance in physical conflict, by developing a conflictThrough doing this multiple conclusions were reached. For starters, it was found that individuals naive to fighting tend to be highly aggressive. This until they experience two consecutive losses making them submissive, and a third loss making them want to refrain from the escalation of any conflict. On the other hand, naive individuals who win any of their first three fights develop greater willpower to sustain defeat before becoming submissive. Moreover, winning and losing fights modulates individuals’ aggression levels, as their confidence in conflict is based on their previous experiences.

These conclusive findings support the notion of the “winner and loser effect”, which essentially describes the increased probability of winning or losing due to the previous outcome. Take a player like Joakim Noah. At the line, down by 1 with 2 shots and the game’s outcome in his hands. Being pinned as one of the worst free-throw shooters of all time, the constant failure at the line is typical. Therefore, with him taking those two shots and missing them, the loser effect is depicted. This is because his previous failures in free throw shooting played a role in the result of the most recent one. Thus, the same is apparent in a good free-throw shooter who is just having a bad game. Furthermore, being that they are not performing as well, as usual, the negative past plays can reduce their confidence when shooting at the line leading to a missed shot.

Evidence supports the fact that the crowd can lead to decreased athletic performance. In addition, a study was done involving a European Football team. Furthermore, it examined the crowd over 4 consecutive seasons, more specifically the crowd’s support and density. Upon completion, it was concluded that the presence of a big and backing crowd is of great importance for home-field advantage. Although this data is in support of the crowd enhancing one’s performance, it is still conclusive, as the same could apply to a crowd that is small and unsupportive. For example, in an intense game, the crowd may be booing and chanting nasty remarks to diminish the performance of a rival player. Thus, potentially allowing the rival player to slip up and make a mistake.

Choking in an intense situation is something that is not only prominent in sports but overall daily life. We all choke in intense situations when there is a presence of unenthusiastic feelings, our lousy past instances, and external viewpoints. For example, on my driver’s test, I was considered a “choke” as I forgot to shift the car into park after parallel parking. This was due to my crippling fear of failure, which ultimately distracted me from an important detail that I had performed many times prior. Since I knew the cause of this silly and careless mistake, I was able to combat it and perform well enough to get my license the next time. This is why it is vital we examine things like choking in all aspects and develop strategies to combat it, thus allowing for a smoother and more enjoyable life.

References

Mesagno, C., Harvey, J. T., & Janelle, C. M. (2012). Choking under pressure: The role of fear of negative evaluation. Psychology of Sport and Exercise, 13(1), 60-68. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.psychsport.2011.07.007

Fawcett, T. W., & Johnstone, R. A. (2010). Learning your own strength: winner and loser effects should change with age and experience. Proceedings. Biological sciences, 277(1686), 1427–1434. https://doi.org/10.1098/rspb.2009.2088

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7 Responses to Causal Argument Rewrite- Shepardspy

  1. shepardspy's avatar shepardspy says:

    I would just like to know ways my essay can be improved. I had a little trouble writing the conclusion, but that is the only thing that comes to my mind right now. Therefore, I would appreciate your insight on the overall piece.

  2. davidbdale's avatar davidbdale says:

    Before I begin to read the essay, I like the gambit of explaining CHOKING instead of MINDFULNESS for your causal argument. If you can successfully map the mechanics of choking, readers may be better able to understand the process of ELIMINATING CHOKING through mindfulness. Let’s see.

  3. davidbdale's avatar davidbdale says:

    I like the Reggie Miller anecdote, Shep. It’s a clever way to introduce the concept of choking, and it benefits tremendously from Reggie Miller’s BOLD CAUSAL CLAIM—accomplished with a gesture—that his opponent has choked.

    You deprive your paragraph of most of its dramatic power, though, with your phrasing. You sap the energy with filler language:
    [It was] [There were] [At this point] [things were looking] [This was until] [went on to] [thus tying] [after multiple] [would eventually regain] [From there] [would strike] [Thus mocking] [he would go on] [With that outcome] [the question arises]. That’s encyclopedia writing for what should be play-by-play announcing, Shep.

    Do you want specific advice on how to rephrase for better impact?

  4. davidbdale's avatar davidbdale says:

    P2. Your definition of choking is only half right, I think. It’s the failure to SUCCEED as expected, right? One who unexpectedly succeeds is not described as having choked by failing to fail.

    What the second half of your paragraph means (and you shouldn’t hesitate to say it) is that while Reggie Miller didn’t care enough to wonder WHY the Knicks choked, WE might benefit from investigating the causes of choking, including: negative emotions, previous failures, and the outside feelings of others.

  5. davidbdale's avatar davidbdale says:

    P3. I don’t know if you deliberately stretch out your explanations, Shep, but you could deliberately shrink them to good effect. For Example, the first three sentences of P3:

    An experiment with 138 experienced basketball players conducted by C. Mesango and others shows that shooters who expressed significant fear of negative evaluation were more likely to choke.

    P4. This paragraph offers a nice illustration that could easily be incorporated into your explanation of the basketball study.

    An experiment with 138 experienced basketball players conducted by C. Mesango and others shows that shooters who expressed significant fear of negative evaluation were more likely to choke. Like good students who are nonetheless “bad test takers,” these shooters, out of fear of failure, “blanked on a question” that their experience should have prepared them for.

    P5. You need to identify your sources when you cite your various studies and experiments, Shep. “The study” is not helpful to a reader who wants to know which of your sources to check for more information.

    The study you cite here is interesting, but we need a little context. We’ve clearly left the basketball court, I think. Are the fighters boxers? Wrestlers? Is the fighting the point of their activity? Did the researchers set up fights for study? Or did they just track the results of a boxing tournament?

    To say “winning and losing fights modulates aggression” is VERY different from saying “recalling a previous loss prevents a fighter from winning his next fight against a weaker opponent,” which would be your definition of choking. So . . . is this paragraph meant to illustrate choking, or some other flavor of mind-in-conflict-with-performance?

    You create a lot of singular/plural disagreements in your writing by focusing on individuals, Shep. If you said, “On the other hand, NAIVE INDIVIDUALS who WIN any of THEIR first three fights DEVELOP greater willpower to sustain defeat before becoming submissive.”

    P6. These conclusive findings support the notion of the “winner and loser effect,” which essentially describes the increased probability of winning or losing due to the previous outcome.

    Your Joakim Noah anecdote suffers from the same encyclopedia style as the Reggie Miller story, Shep. Can I rephrase it for you?:

    Consider the case of Joakim Noah. At the line, his team down by one, Noah can clinch the game for his team by making his two free throws. But he’s one of the worst free-throw shooters of all time. No one expects him to succeed. So he fails and validates his loser history by choking.

    To be honest, this once again calls your definition into question. If nobody expected him to make the shots, did he choke? Naturally, if the best free-throw shooter fails, we can call it a choke, but in this case . . . ?

    P7. Your transition words are odd, Shep. I’ve removed them from your first three sentences:

    A supportive crowd can lead to improved athletic performance. A study involving a European Football team measured crowd support and density for 4 consecutive seasons.

    See if you can edit the last two sentences in this paragraph similarly.

    P8. I like the personal anecdote, Shep. When you commit to it for your concluding paragraph, commit all the way. Instead of keeping your first two sentences neutral, include yourself and your readers.

    We all choke in intense situations when our history of failure, or the gaze of others, or our lack of enthusiasm for the task at hand make us perform more like Joakim Noah than Reggie Miller. On my first go at my driver’s test, I choked by forgetting to shift the car into park after parallel parking.

    Etc.

    I hope that was helpful and not too cranky. Feedback is a conversation, so please help me tailor my advice to your specific needs. Also, put this post back into Feedback Please and request a re-grade following revisions.

  6. shepardspy's avatar shepardspy says:

    May I receive a regrade

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