Invention of Money—Lashawn Robinson

My concept of money completely changed after reading “The island of money” by Jacob Goldstein. Hundred of years ago, the yap found limestones deposit on a island. They caved the Large stones that was called feis. Although there aren’t any concrete evidence that shows money was started by the yap”, we share similar concepts. Similarly to the yaps we used money to purchases things and we believe our currency has value.
In an audio file”the invention of money” it talks about how Brazil was going through an economic recession and they charged their currency in other to improve their economy. I was in disbelief how changing the currency can improve your economy.

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2 Responses to Invention of Money—Lashawn Robinson

  1. robins142014's avatar robins142014 says:

    feedback

    Please? Feedback provided, —DSH

  2. davidbdale's avatar davidbdale says:

    OK, Lashawn, let’s get to it. As I probably explained when I critiqued your Morph post, I will comment on your work here as I read it instead of after so you’ll know how I’m reacting in real time.

    P1. Your personal reflection is fine for this assignment, Lashawn, but your Money Rewrite is a critical analysis assignment, so you’ll want to suppress the narrative of your personal reactions for the post due TUE FEB 11.
    —For article and paper titles, use initial caps: “The Island of Stone Money.”
    —I don’t know how you got the idea that Jacob Goldstein wrote “The Island of Stone Money,” but he didn’t.
    —Please proofread your work before posting it for feedback, Lashawn. “Hundred of years ago” should never appear in print.
    —Capitalize the Yap people and the island of Yap.
    —Proofread: “limestones deposit”?
    —Proofread: “on a island”?
    —Proofread: “They caved”?
    —Proofread: Don’t capitalize Large stones
    —Proofread: “that was called feis”?
    —Proofread: “There aren’t any concrete evidence”?
    —Proofread: Why the quotation mark? . . . started by the yap”?
    —Proofread: “we used money”?
    —Proofread: “to purchases”?

    P2. I hope never to have to do this again, Lashawn. I’d much rather be guiding your technique than picking at your grammar and mechanics.
    —Proofread: “they charged their currency”?
    —Proofread: “in other to improve”?

    Regarding content, you start your essay by claiming to have changed your mind completely about money. The evidence is missing in your paragraph. All you say about money is that we use it to buy things and believe it has value. Is this radically different from what you used to believe?

    The logic of your sentences is not always clear. These two clauses, for example, don’t have an “although” relationship:
    —we can’t say the Yap invented money
    —we share concepts about money with them

    You do express a new understanding in your second paragraph, that adopting a new currency can save an economy from catastrophe. Again, saying so is fine for this reflective essay post, but you’ll have to make more substantive claims in your Money Rewrite for TUE FEB 11.

    Are you on the calendar for a Personal Professor Conference, Lashawn? A ten-minute conversation might save me an hour of writing you notes. Thanks.
    —Watch

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