Every semester, I invite former students to visit my first class meeting, to help me orient new students to my peculiarities. This year Chris DiSarcina volunteered but then ran into a conflict. This evening he sent me these comments to relay to you about your upcoming semester from the perspective of one who’s been there.

Unfortunately, I’m not going to make it to your class on Thursday.

The following is what I would have said to your students:

David Hodges is a very complex professor. He can make you feel like shit with his highly critical comments. He can make your day and order pizzas for the class. But the best thing that he can ever do is teach you. The only catch is that you have to let him. I’ve taken Comp 1 and Comp 2 with him and had some of the most frustrating times doing work for those classes, not because of how challenging the work is, and it is a challenge, but because I would not adhere to his schedule and submit half-assed assignments a day late rather than an assignment submitted a day early with enough time to edit based off the structure laid out in his comments. As you should already know, your compositions are never finished. There is always something that can be edited, added, omitted, reworded, defined. My advice to you is to work hard in this class and take advantage of the opportunities in front of you. If you can’t meet the deadline: submit outstanding work late and hope that he doesn’t take off points. There is something to be learned from this class. Mix your creativity with your objectiveness. Some of you are going to breeze through this class and others are going to struggle. I think that those of you that struggle are the ones that are going to be taught the most. So, good luck this year and face the upcoming challenges head on and unafraid. Don’t be afraid to get original. Think outside of the store-bought cake box. Professor Hodges once told me that the best cake is the cake you make. So have your cake and eat it too. I’ve also heard that trying to write anything more than 299 words is waste.