Visual Rewrite – alwaystired

0:01. A shaky camera captures two people, one middle-aged and another very young, standing in the middle of a beach full of sand. They are not animated, but real people who look like those you would see on an average day. A blue ocean sits behind them, light waves rising within. A slight sunset consisting of a yellow, white, and blue sky is there as well, implying it is the end of the day. The camera quality is high-definition and unfiltered. The man and girl are far away from the shot and you can see their entire bodies and every move they make. It can only be assumed they are a dad and a daughter, considering how comfortable they appear to be with one another.

The girl is very short, looking around four or five years old. She is white-skinned with medium-length blonde hair, wearing a pink shirt, pants, and jacket with no shoes. Her father has on a black jacket and long pants and sunglasses of the same color. He has on black shoes as well, using them to kick a large beach ball with a cartoon character on it into the air.

He and the girl both stare into the air at the ball, waiting for it to come back down. Her arms are extended upwards and one of her feet is off the ground, showing that she may be attempting to catch the ball before he can. They are both moving in the direction of the object, their eyes following its every move.

0:02-0:03. As the beach ball hits the ground, it lands closer to the dad, to which he instantly looks down at it. His eyes fall down to his daughter and his motive seems to shift. Backing away from the ball, he watches as she eagerly runs over to catch it. She uses both of her arms to barely catch the ball that is almost as wide as her. Her father keeps his eyes on her with a smile.

0:03-0:04. The scene abruptly cuts to a completely new setting that lacks the two characters from the last segment. There is a middle-aged man wearing a baseball cap jacket, and jeans. His race is unclear because of how far from the camera he is. He is standing in the grass, not too far from trees and what looks like a forest. The sun is out and appears to be midday. A few feet away from him is a house that looks big enough for a family, with a red roof, white paint, and many windows.

The camera angle is low and the video looks like it is shot in the grass as if the man set it up by himself. It is also now still. He is seen taking a step back and pitching a baseball in the traditional way of doing so. Who he is throwing it to, if anybody, is unclear and off-camera.

0:05. The scene flashes again, but this time to a young girl who looks around the age of four. She is black with short, curly hair. She is wearing a white t-shirt with a yellow print on the front, and a polka-dotted blue skirt. She also has on a pair of gray flip-flops that she clearly does not own, considering they are way too big for her feet. She is standing in a yard of grass as well, but the grass is patchy and turning yellow. There are a few trees with barely any leaves around her, and a doghouse not too far in the distance. She is also surrounded by a green, high fence. It appears to be the afternoon because the sun is setting, but the sky is still bright. The camera is a lot closer to her than the people in the last two scenes, but still far enough to capture her entire self. It is shaky as if it is being filmed by hand.

She holds out her hands to catch a small beach ball coming towards her, but she is stiff and her eyes are closed. This indicates that she fears being hit by the ball. Regardless, the girl attempts to catch it, though it hits her hands and falls to the ground instead.

Because of the way the camera shifts, it would be assumed that the man from the last clip is who is throwing her the ball, this is untrue. The ball she caught was a beachball, and the grass is a lot less clean than the field he was standing in. Not to mention, there was no fence in his yard. Lastly, the ball she caught was a beach ball, and the ball he threw was clearly a lot smaller and presumably a baseball.

0:06. The scene switches yet another time to another man and a young girl. The man is tall and black with no hair. He is wearing a black polo shirt and dark blue jeans. The little girl has on a black t-shirt with an unclear image on the front, and she has on blue jeans. She is black as well and her hair is black, curly, and in Bantu knots. The girl had just caught a rainbow bouncy ball that was thrown at her with a smile on her face. The man is walking towards her and seems to be saying something, though is happy as well. It is not a stretch to say these two are father and daughter. They are located in a yard with short, yellowish-green grass in broad daylight. The house they are standing in front of has light yellow walls with green rectangles on them. It is connected to a green fence made of wood.

The camera is close enough to the two that you cannot see their shoes, but far enough that you can see the rest of them. It is once again unsteady, hinting that it is being filmed by what we can assume to be a family member.

0:07-0:10. Once again, the scene switches to a little girl running through a kitchen. She is looking around the corner of a white counter as if she is searching for something, though it is unclear what. She is white with long blonde hair. Though she is wearing a princess dress, she does not have any shoes on, which is probably because she is inside. The kitchen looks like it belongs to a family, with colorful magnets on the fridge and roses and wine on the counters. It is clean and well-lit, while the camera is slightly shaky and filmed from a lower angle. She is not too far away from the camera, though is enough a distance that we can see her entire self.

As the girl jumps out from behind the counter to retrieve what she was looking for, the video cuts to a man standing in what appears to be a dark garage, only enlightened by one dull lamp. He is white and middle-aged, with dark brown hair and a black shirt. The camera is so close to him that we can only see his upper body. His arms are in the air and he is peering around the room to find something. He then seems to catch it but then throws it just as quickly. There is a blurry view of what seems to be a young blonde and white boy behind him wearing a red shirt, holding out his hands to catch whatever he has tossed. The camera is just as unsteady as the scene that occurred before.

The commercial snaps back to the little girl in the princess dress, though this time she is by the refrigerator in the same kitchen as before. She reaches out and catches a small orange ball with both of her arms, looking excited and proud of herself afterward. Her eyes are focused in front of her, presumably on whoever threw the ball toward her. She takes a few steps backward and smiles at the person she’s facing, appearing as if she is seeking approval.

Similarly to the scenes that included a man throwing a baseball and a girl catching a small beach ball, it may appear at first as if the man is the person who is throwing the ball to the kid in the princess dress, though this is unlikely. He is standing in a dim garage while she is in a bright kitchen. He also appears to be tossing the object behind himself, while the camera angle indicates the little girl would be in front of him.

0:11-0:13. The scene switches to an interesting filming choice of a middle-aged man and a girl standing outside, being recorded through a window inside of a house. Inside of the house, it is dark, only receiving light from the sun shining through the window. Two black armchairs with orange pillows on them sit on opposite sides of the window, the chair on the left beside a black, small table. It is sunny outside and there are many beautiful, healthy-looking plants.

Right next to a black porch and in front of a gray truck, the man and girl, who are most likely father and daughter, are tossing a huge white bouncy ball back and forth to one another. The camera is shaky and the scene is in slow motion. The father is tan with black hair, wearing a blue polo shirt and sunglasses. He has a smile on his face as he tosses the ball over to his daughter. She is tan as well and her black hair is in pigtails. She wears a pink dress with white leggings underneath. She proceeds to lunge forward, with her arms high, to toss the ball back to him.

0:14. The video cuts to an elementary-aged girl kicking a soccer ball around an open trail. There is a lot of grass and trees, but only one house and a playground in the background. She is white and has blonde pigtails, wearing a pink, long-sleeved shirt, a skirt, and white shoes with knee-high white socks. The camera is very shaky because whoever is recording is following the girl as she runs, kicking the soccer ball forward and chasing it. The camera is far enough from her to see everything she is doing. There is an obvious glare of sunlight on the upper right-hand corner of the film.

0:15. The next segment cuts to a middle-aged man outside in the dark. The man is white with a white t-shirt and baseball cap. He is in a wooded area with a tan fence behind him. The camera is zoomed in to only his upper body, following him as he jumps forward to hit a volleyball with his forearms. His eyes are on the ball and he looks like he is having a good time.

The scene quickly flashes to a wider view of the same scene. The man is still there, but now his full body can be seen and he appears to be wearing blue shorts and sandals. Now there is a teenage girl standing in front of him who is also white but has brown long hair. She is wearing a pink, long-sleeved shirt with gray shorts and sneakers. She is positioned in the driveway of a house in between a white shed and a fence, while the man is on the road. The camera is unsteady, filming the two bumping a volleyball back and forth between one another.

0:15-0:18. The camera switches again to a far-away view of a teenage girl on the edge of a pool. She is white, wearing a swimsuit with her brown hair in a bun. She looks like she is in a nice area, considering she is surrounded by a big, white fence next to a huge house and some trees. The pool is large as well, and has plants and outdoor furniture along its sides. It is bright outside but the sun is setting, implying it is the end of the day.

The girl is chasing after a blue and yellow football that is being thrown at her from somebody off camera. The ball is high in the air but plummeting in her direction. She leaps in the pool to catch it with her arms outstretched, falling in with a splash. The camera is still. She catches the ball and holds it above the water in celebration.

The scene changes to the same girl, though this time it is a lot closer to her face. She is floating in the water and her hair fell out of the bun, now wet. She is laughing and facing the person who tossed the ball to her, who is currently off camera.

0:19-0:21. The film flashes to a teenage girl who is white with a brown ponytail. She is wearing athletic clothing, which is a gray t-shirt tucked into blue leggings. Covering her hand is a brown baseball mitt. She looks focused as she swings around a yellow softball, then lunges forward to toss it. It is light outside and a few trees and stadium lights can be seen behind her, implying she is in a baseball field. The camera moves with her.

The camera cuts to a white man crouched on a baseball field, wearing a baseball hat, sunglasses, and a dark shirt and shorts. There are people playing baseball at a blurry distance behind him, though he is focused on the girl who threw him the baseball from the previous cut. He has on a wedding ring, hinting that he is most likely this girl’s father, as well as a dark brown baseball mitt on his other hand. After catching the ball, he points at the girl and speaks, most likely giving her tips or compliments.

0:22-0:24. The scene skips to a visual of two people, a man and a girl, standing in the road of a culdesac. The street is illuminated by a tall streetlight standing over the two. Expensive-looking houses decorate the sidewalks, along with many cars and palm trees. This implies they are in a place with a hot climate. It is very dark outside and a city can be seen in the distance. The camera is only slightly unsteady and very far from the people in focus.

The ages of these people are unclear, though the man is wearing a shirt and shorts, while the girl is wearing a shirt and jeans with her hair in a ponytail. They are both white. Though they are standing a far distance from one another, they are facing each other. The man appears to have just caught something that was thrown to him.

The camera cuts to a closer view of the man, revealing he is older and has gray hair. The ball they were throwing is now shown to be a football. He has a smile on his face and is preparing to pass the ball back to the girl.

The commercial flashes to a view of the back of the girl’s head, where only her ponytail and hands can be seen. The old man and surrounding area is in front of her, though is very blurry, making her the focus. She reaches up her arms and catches the football.

0:25-0:30. The screen cuts to black, though a few white words as well as logos are littered across the screen. The words are centered, drawing audiences’ eyes straight to them. The first few words, which are above the rest of the sentence, read, “It only takes a moment[.]” Then, indented underneath them, the rest of the sentence continues and says, “to make a moment.” These words stay on the screen for the remainder of the video. The logos are credits for the companies that put together this short film.

The completed sentence states, “It only takes a moment to make a moment.” Every clip shown throughout this commercial was only a moment long though was able to show happy fathers and daughters playing catch with one another. The message of the video is that fathers should put in the effort to bond with their daughters and that it is easier than they may think. Girls enjoy playing catch, even though sports are usually considered a “boy’s thing.” This stereotype may cause dads to not play with their daughters in the same way they do with their sons, though this video strives to convince them otherwise.

This entry was posted in alwaystired, Portfolio AlwaysTired, Visual Rewrite. Bookmark the permalink.

1 Response to Visual Rewrite – alwaystired

  1. davidbdale says:

    Very thorough visual descriptions, AT. If I were to offer advice, it would be to mix in some analysis of the ad’s effectiveness at conveying what you perceive to be its intended message with each shot.

    If you want grade improvement, a good choice is to add a Post-Audio Analysis to describe how much your appreciation for the ad changed (or didn’t) after listening to the audio track.

    Your grade is not final, but since you didn’t ask for Feedback Please, you’ll have to be VERY SPECIFIC in your request if you want further advice on this post.

    Provisionally graded.
    Always eligible for Revisions and a Regrade.

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